As a person who has lived all over the world, I have been confronted with the term "ex patriot" on a semi regular basis. Honestly, I don't like it. It seems... demeaning.
I am still a patriot. Just because I don't live in England, nor do I plan on living there again any time soon, it doesn't mean I don't love my country. I am incredibly patriotic. I have St. George flying in my room, stuck to the back of my car, and on a hat I wear almost every day. I also fly the Union Jack on bank holidays.
Also, the term "Alien" annoys me. As I grew up, I came to relate the term to creatures from another planet. When I first saw the word on a government form, I was confused. I'm not an alien. So, I moved here from another country. Last I checked, I was still a human. Granted, being a Martian would be pretty neat, but still, I'm not, and I shouldn't be treated as such.
Stop discriminating against us ex patriot aliens! The new term is "foreign-born humans". Deal with it.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Days and Time
I missed a day. Not on purpose, you see, my time schedule is off. I still haven't gone to bed, and so in my eyes, I am still working off the same day. It just so happens that the posting clock will disagree with me. As far as it's concerned, I am a day late.
I disagree with this system. Calenders are just mean. Here I am, trying to write a post every day, and this stupid system of days and time has thrown me off, all because I happen to have a screwy sleeping routine. It's time for a change!
I propose a new calender system; one that monitors your sleeping patters and then sets up what "time zone" you are in based upon when you wake and when you sleep. The world is becoming so global these days that I don't think the sun is a good measure anymore in regards to when people are actually awake or asleep. I know for a fact I am not the only person living my life as if I am currently on an island in the middle of the Pacific, even though I'm physically a few thousand miles off. So, it's time for a change. If the world is global, then the clock should be also. From this moment forward, I ask that someone figure out a way to make it so that everyone's time zone is based upon their sleeping patterns, not where they live.
I would do it, but I'm going to bed.
I disagree with this system. Calenders are just mean. Here I am, trying to write a post every day, and this stupid system of days and time has thrown me off, all because I happen to have a screwy sleeping routine. It's time for a change!
I propose a new calender system; one that monitors your sleeping patters and then sets up what "time zone" you are in based upon when you wake and when you sleep. The world is becoming so global these days that I don't think the sun is a good measure anymore in regards to when people are actually awake or asleep. I know for a fact I am not the only person living my life as if I am currently on an island in the middle of the Pacific, even though I'm physically a few thousand miles off. So, it's time for a change. If the world is global, then the clock should be also. From this moment forward, I ask that someone figure out a way to make it so that everyone's time zone is based upon their sleeping patterns, not where they live.
I would do it, but I'm going to bed.
Monday, May 28, 2007
A world without "e"
Have you ever wondered what the world would be like without the letter "e"? I only ask because recently, I've been accidentally leaving the letter "e" off many words, and it just makes me angry. I foresee a number of probable outcomes from removing the letter "e" from the planet.
One: Everyone will get very angry, and we're talking very very angry. I expect there will be animal lovers everywhere walking around punching puppies and kittens in a desperate attempt to release their blind rage at the loss of the letter "e". I think I would fall into this category.
Two: People will continue as if nothing happened, just ignoring the letter in places where it should have been. Convrsation will turn into a long string of words dsignd to ignor th lttr "_". Popl would not vn notic. Or mayb thy will, but just not say anything about it.
Three: A group of rebels will find a way to incorporate the letter "e" back into their society. Then, different religious groups across the world will hate them, claiming the letter "e" was removed from the world because it was created by Satan, and all these "e" users are devil worshipers. I expect this will happen in the southern part of the United States- the hatred and discrimination, that is.
Not a nice thing to think about really, is it? So, i think it's safe to end with this: Keep using your letter "e"! Puppies and Kittens everywhere thank you!
One: Everyone will get very angry, and we're talking very very angry. I expect there will be animal lovers everywhere walking around punching puppies and kittens in a desperate attempt to release their blind rage at the loss of the letter "e". I think I would fall into this category.
Two: People will continue as if nothing happened, just ignoring the letter in places where it should have been. Convrsation will turn into a long string of words dsignd to ignor th lttr "_". Popl would not vn notic. Or mayb thy will, but just not say anything about it.
Three: A group of rebels will find a way to incorporate the letter "e" back into their society. Then, different religious groups across the world will hate them, claiming the letter "e" was removed from the world because it was created by Satan, and all these "e" users are devil worshipers. I expect this will happen in the southern part of the United States- the hatred and discrimination, that is.
Not a nice thing to think about really, is it? So, i think it's safe to end with this: Keep using your letter "e"! Puppies and Kittens everywhere thank you!
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Edu-prison System
Yesterday, I was reminded what it was like to live the life of a high school student. My brother recently graduated and is off to university, and so I have been going through the intense final days of his high school career with him. Honestly, I had forgotten just how terrible it was. But, before I go into this, there are some things you need to know so you can place my biases fairly.
I liked High School. I didn't love it, but I love very little, and liking something is still pretty good. I liked a lot of my teachers. In fact, I liked all of them. Even the ones I didn't get along with, but that's a different story for another day. I also was a good kid. I didn't break rules for the sake of breaking them, I did what I was told when I was told, and I worked hard at the things I cared about. I didn't try to cause trouble, though trouble did find its way to me on occasion and I had a hard time not being a part of it.
With that said, I feel I can freely express my opinions. High School is mislabeled. I don't understand how you can be forced into a place every day for four years- with full lock down security, forced meal times, unable to walk anywhere without written permission, required silent time, where you are unable to voice your opinions freely, and all rights that you once had outside these walls are taken away- and call it anything but what it is. Prison.
The two most mistreated groups of people in America are Prisoners and Publicly Educated Underage Students. Don't get me wrong, the prisoners deserve it. They broke the law. What did the students do? They are trying to earn their place in society. They are trying to work, trying to learn, trying to better themselves, and yet they are treated with the same level of respect and self worth as a man who is locked in a cell for 22 hours a day. Granted, you don't get slapped around, but if you do something wrong, they throw you in solitary confinement for three or more days, except they call it "In School Suspension" or "Alternate Education Program". Again, misleading names don't change what is really happening here, and I really hate it when people change the name of something just to hide what it really is. Why don't they just call it "Solitary"?
I do not voice these opinions without merit. I went to private high school for a year in Hong Kong at HKIS, one of the greatest schools in the world in my opinion. There, I actually felt like a human. If there was something you wanted to say, you were free to say it. Your opinions were heard, because you were the one learning, and whatever made that process easier for you should be listened to. For every graduating class, there were two counselors, and not the type in Texas where they invite you in, listen to you without hearing a word you say, and then send you on your way. No, these people were payed to take your side. They would listen to you, and agree with you (in most cases, unless what you were saying was utter bullshit) and then they would act in your favour. The school cared about its students. That's how education should be.
Public Education is flawed. But then, I was angry since my sophomore year of High School when I read "For use in School and Prison Only" on the side of the crates that delivered the cafeteria's food. America (or at least Texas), do something about your damn education system!
I liked High School. I didn't love it, but I love very little, and liking something is still pretty good. I liked a lot of my teachers. In fact, I liked all of them. Even the ones I didn't get along with, but that's a different story for another day. I also was a good kid. I didn't break rules for the sake of breaking them, I did what I was told when I was told, and I worked hard at the things I cared about. I didn't try to cause trouble, though trouble did find its way to me on occasion and I had a hard time not being a part of it.
With that said, I feel I can freely express my opinions. High School is mislabeled. I don't understand how you can be forced into a place every day for four years- with full lock down security, forced meal times, unable to walk anywhere without written permission, required silent time, where you are unable to voice your opinions freely, and all rights that you once had outside these walls are taken away- and call it anything but what it is. Prison.
The two most mistreated groups of people in America are Prisoners and Publicly Educated Underage Students. Don't get me wrong, the prisoners deserve it. They broke the law. What did the students do? They are trying to earn their place in society. They are trying to work, trying to learn, trying to better themselves, and yet they are treated with the same level of respect and self worth as a man who is locked in a cell for 22 hours a day. Granted, you don't get slapped around, but if you do something wrong, they throw you in solitary confinement for three or more days, except they call it "In School Suspension" or "Alternate Education Program". Again, misleading names don't change what is really happening here, and I really hate it when people change the name of something just to hide what it really is. Why don't they just call it "Solitary"?
I do not voice these opinions without merit. I went to private high school for a year in Hong Kong at HKIS, one of the greatest schools in the world in my opinion. There, I actually felt like a human. If there was something you wanted to say, you were free to say it. Your opinions were heard, because you were the one learning, and whatever made that process easier for you should be listened to. For every graduating class, there were two counselors, and not the type in Texas where they invite you in, listen to you without hearing a word you say, and then send you on your way. No, these people were payed to take your side. They would listen to you, and agree with you (in most cases, unless what you were saying was utter bullshit) and then they would act in your favour. The school cared about its students. That's how education should be.
Public Education is flawed. But then, I was angry since my sophomore year of High School when I read "For use in School and Prison Only" on the side of the crates that delivered the cafeteria's food. America (or at least Texas), do something about your damn education system!
Friday, May 25, 2007
Satisfaction Guarantee
Ever since I was little the sales pitch "satisfaction guaranteed" has really bothered me. There are just so many things wrong with it. The biggest problem I encounter whenever I hear it is this: Who decides the level of satisfaction that I am being guaranteed, and more importantly, who gauges it? Is there some sort of satisfaction testing machine I can be hooked up to in order to prove how dissatisfied I am with the particular service or product I have received? It just seems to me like a foolish thing to offer someone, and an even more foolish thing to buy into.
I don't avoid products with satisfaction guarantee's. That would be stupid of me. Rather, I treat them as if the guarantee doesn't exist. Even if I was dissatisfied, I'd feel pretty cheap returning the item for that purpose.
Let's say I recently purchased a DVD of some sort with a satisfaction guarantee. I watch it several times and decide I am not happy. I take it in and say "No, the DVD is fine, I just wasn't satisfied with the quality of acting." If I was stupid enough to buy the Movie in the first place without looking into what it was I was purchasing, I think I should be responsible for my mistake.
That's not all that bothers me. I get the feeling that by posting "satisfaction guaranteed" on an item, the company is just asking for trouble. There are plenty of people out there just waiting for a chance to get something for nothing. If they can get their money back just by saying "I didn't like it," don't you think they'll do it? Besides, that's lying, and liars are terrible people.
What if someone were to say their blog was satisfaction guaranteed. It's a free service, so what would they lose if someone is dissatisfied. See, it's foolish isn't it. There would be no negative repercussions to posting that on a free service, and yet people do!
On a final note: This post and all others by this author are Satisfaction Guaranteed. Enjoy.
I don't avoid products with satisfaction guarantee's. That would be stupid of me. Rather, I treat them as if the guarantee doesn't exist. Even if I was dissatisfied, I'd feel pretty cheap returning the item for that purpose.
Let's say I recently purchased a DVD of some sort with a satisfaction guarantee. I watch it several times and decide I am not happy. I take it in and say "No, the DVD is fine, I just wasn't satisfied with the quality of acting." If I was stupid enough to buy the Movie in the first place without looking into what it was I was purchasing, I think I should be responsible for my mistake.
That's not all that bothers me. I get the feeling that by posting "satisfaction guaranteed" on an item, the company is just asking for trouble. There are plenty of people out there just waiting for a chance to get something for nothing. If they can get their money back just by saying "I didn't like it," don't you think they'll do it? Besides, that's lying, and liars are terrible people.
What if someone were to say their blog was satisfaction guaranteed. It's a free service, so what would they lose if someone is dissatisfied. See, it's foolish isn't it. There would be no negative repercussions to posting that on a free service, and yet people do!
On a final note: This post and all others by this author are Satisfaction Guaranteed. Enjoy.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
No comment
Questions are great. Rhetorical questions are the best. It's the only question where you actually get to ask something without listening to all the people who feel their opinions just need to be heard. I don't like those people. Mainly because I'm one of them, and too much James is a bad thing.
But that is why rhetorical questions are so fantastic. A bunch of people just like me can get together and ask each other questions, never expecting an answer. But there's always that one isn't there, who feels it's their duty to inform all the others what they thought the answer to the rhetorical question was. I hate those people even more.
I don't mean to complain. Rhetorical questions are fantastic, and every one's realization of this is a moment to celebrate not complain.
Now, don't you think you should be happy?
But that is why rhetorical questions are so fantastic. A bunch of people just like me can get together and ask each other questions, never expecting an answer. But there's always that one isn't there, who feels it's their duty to inform all the others what they thought the answer to the rhetorical question was. I hate those people even more.
I don't mean to complain. Rhetorical questions are fantastic, and every one's realization of this is a moment to celebrate not complain.
Now, don't you think you should be happy?
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Invented Words
The English language is wonderful. I'm not saying everyone should learn it, not at all. It's good to have diversity. I'm simply stating that those who do know English are lucky. Probably luckier than most.
Why is English so great? Well, it's rather simple. I've tried my hand in a few languages in the past, and I must say, English is the only one so far that I have been able to come up with convincing words that simply aren't real. Invented Words, if you will. I call them Invenords. That was one of the very first words I invented. I don't keep track of all of them, mainly because I'm inventing new words every day, but I do write down the odd outstanding one. Let me share them with you.
Barajingle: The act of being better than everyone else at humming any song shorter than 15 seconds in length
Firnally: When one is of equal strength to a "furn"
Biatrivilous: The inability to side one way or the other on frivolous decisions
Jamiruper: Better than perfect
See, it's fun. Anyone can do it. All you need is a semi-firm understanding of how the English language works, and then a semi-decent imagination. If you have both of those, or really just either, you can pull this off. You don't even need to be smarter than other people when you do it. In fact, it's usually better if you aren't. That way the people who you aren't smarter than will be angry they didn't know a word you do, and BANG!; it's part of their vocabulary.
It's fun to mess with people. Try it. Invent some words.
Why is English so great? Well, it's rather simple. I've tried my hand in a few languages in the past, and I must say, English is the only one so far that I have been able to come up with convincing words that simply aren't real. Invented Words, if you will. I call them Invenords. That was one of the very first words I invented. I don't keep track of all of them, mainly because I'm inventing new words every day, but I do write down the odd outstanding one. Let me share them with you.
Barajingle: The act of being better than everyone else at humming any song shorter than 15 seconds in length
Firnally: When one is of equal strength to a "furn"
Biatrivilous: The inability to side one way or the other on frivolous decisions
Jamiruper: Better than perfect
See, it's fun. Anyone can do it. All you need is a semi-firm understanding of how the English language works, and then a semi-decent imagination. If you have both of those, or really just either, you can pull this off. You don't even need to be smarter than other people when you do it. In fact, it's usually better if you aren't. That way the people who you aren't smarter than will be angry they didn't know a word you do, and BANG!; it's part of their vocabulary.
It's fun to mess with people. Try it. Invent some words.
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