Trying to Write

I have a problem. I can't seem to think of anything to write. I want to write something, but all that's in my head is a string of ideas that are about how terrible life is, and I feel like I exhausted that bad-boy yesterday. I feel like if you are going to talk about how bad life is, you need to take a little break and try to talk about how great it is. So, let me have a quick attempt at that, seeing as I don't know what it is that I am going to write about in this blog today.

Life is pretty great. Sometimes there is sun, sometimes there is rain. I don't like rain. But sometimes I like sun, if it's cold out. I like cold. Cold is pretty great. Sometimes people look stupid in front of other people. That's pretty funny. I like it when that happens. Life is also pretty great when someone gets hurt in a crazy way, like slipping on a banana peel or swallowing a jalapeno. Those things are pretty great. It's also great when people sneeze more than 10 times. It's annoying, but it makes me laugh. They say a sneeze is 1/10 an orgasm. I sneeze twice. I bet those 10 time sneezers wish they could sneeze 10 times, simultaneously, instead of in succession. It'd be better that way.

But what I really like, and this is pretty selfish, is when someone elses life sucks more than mine. I often pretend that I have this "higher-than-thou" situation in my writing. I like to pretend I am not part of the rest of the worlds terrible problems. The truth is, I'm just as terrible a person as you. I love it when I'm feeling like shit, and I run into someone who's feeling worse. What's better? Sharing a bad mood. Bad moods are like a disease, one that can only be healed by giving it to multiple other people. It's delicious.

Basically, life could be great if I were pretending, but you guys know me well enough to know that I don't believe that for even a second.

Hey, look at that. I wrote something, even if it is shit.