It... Was... EVERYWHERE!

Never before, in my entire life, have I witnessed an event as unbelievable as this one. It was like something out a science-fiction story, in which a tiny three inch tall ball of fur manages to eat an elephant in one bite. Of course, in this situation, it was the reverse.

My dog, Black Hayate, who is a 16 inch tall Alaskan Klee Kai escaped from his cage for a period of three hours in which I was not at the apartment. In that time, he managed to somehow release seven times his bodyweight in fecal matter. It was everywhere! I've never, in all my life, seen so much shit scattered... everywhere! I turned to the living room, looked at the floor, looked at the dog, looked at the floor, looked at the dog, and then just sat down in awe. I wasn't even mad. There was shit everywhere! The rug was covered in it, the carpet had it scattered all over the place, the couch had smeared patches here and there, there was urine stains all over the place, and even Hayate had managed to walk through some of it and leave a trail to all the places he'd visited.

It was amazing. I don't much enjoy taking the tone of a moralist, but here's one I simply can't avoid: Make sure to keep your problems caged, or else before you know it, there'll be shit everywhere!