Hilarious and Disappointing

My mother has this strange obsession with spam mail. It's rather embarrasing seeing as I am such a huge advocate of anti-spam mail, but still, it's what she does. Today, she sent me something that I must admit was actually quite entertaining. Here's what it read:

For Your Info: If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you would have $49.00 left. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left. But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214.00 cash. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found Americans drink, on the average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon. Makes You Proud To Be An American!

Unfortunately for me, I'm not an American. In fact, I'm currently attempting to renew my residency to the US, which proves that I am not, nor will I be soon, a citizen of this country. All the same, I think the ratio difference between American's and European's is quite amusing. American's don't really walk very much. 900 miles a year is barely moving your legs if you think about it. That means that in a single day you only walk about 2.5 miles. That's nothing!

In truth though, the ratio for the English would probably be about the same. See, we walk a lot. Probably upwards of 5 miles a day. My grandmother walks almost 7 every day, and she's 80. Imagine what we youngsters can do! Of course this just means that in order to maintain a comfortable 41 miles per gallon, we are forced to consume more alcohol. I know it seems rough, but we suck it up. We wouldn't want to be hyper efficient and weigh in at 200 miles per gallon now would we?