Never Forget Elephants

I'm the type of person who is often scared by stupid things. I'm not talking about thriller movies or roller coasters, but rather real life situations that happen to all of us. For example, if I'm walking down the street and I see a man wearing a black hoodie in the summer, I assume I'm about to get mugged. It's a defence mechanism. In some ways, I suppose I over think things. I keep building the little things up higher and higher until my once ankle tall mound of dirt has become a mountain of conspiracies and ridiculous fears. I say this because it's important to understand that I'm not ignorant of my irrational fears. I have never been mugged by a hoodie-wearing punk with thirty-six piercings in his nose, nor do I know anyone who has been mugged by a similar looking individual, but that doesn't stop me being prepared for it to happen.

Knowing this about me, imagine how afraid I must have been when I saw the Taiwanese elephants paint self portraits several months ago. They would take a paintbrush in their trunks, dip it into some paint, and paint a picture of an elephant holding a pretty little flower in its trunk. The worst part is that the picture wasn't even bad! I'm no artist, but I don't think I could ever paint an elephant as well as these elephants can. When I'm bested by animals that lack higher level thinking, I start to worry. People were cheering, clapping, gasping, and awing.

I wasn't.

I was too busy thinking about what this could mean for our generation. Elephants are smart, we already know that, but just how smart? They are the only other animal in the world that suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Once, they were kind and friendly creatures. Now, they are becoming increasingly violent and are hunting down humans for sport. Not only that, but they have been known to use sticks as weapons, open doors, sneak around in dark places and wait for people to unsuspectingly walk into a trap where six or seven elephants will pounce out and attack. Elephants are dangerous.

I suppose that's why I didn't applaud. I was suddenly afraid. If elephants are smart enough to open doors, use tools, and paint pictures, I firmly believe they are smart enough to be up to something sneaky. I think these paintings were a mere distraction. A false sense of security, if you will. I wasn't buying it.

I left the show and vowed never to live in a country that was prone to elephants. Those animals are just getting too smart for their own good, and I don't want to be there when our relationship with them goes sour.