Today's post will most likely offend a large number of people. To those people: Pull your thumbs out your asses and get a sense of humour. That said, we recently discussed who would win a battle to the death between Superman and Darth Vader. Today, I have another fight question. Who would win in a battle to the death between Rama, Jesus, or Buddha?
In my opinion, this is a hands down winning to Rama. But I want you to think about it and argue with me, especially if I either (a) did not include your god, or (b) said your god would lose. Fight me! That's what these gods would want!
Here's why I think Rama would win. First off, the guy is blue. How many blue people have you met that were still alive? I've seen a few on TV that were dead and blue, but alive people that are blue? I haven't seen a single one! So for starters, he's pretty unique. Second, he carries around a bow everywhere he goes. This isn't just a regular bow. No, this bow shoots arrows invested with the power of a god. His arrows can take on the form of light, can cause fires, can do pretty much whatever the heck he wants. Also, he single handedly scoured the entire planet to save his love, Sita, from the evil Ravana. For those who don't know who Ravana is, he is a guy with 10 heads and 10 pairs of arms. That's 20 hands. Can you imagine how hard it would be to fight someone like that? Jesus couldn't do it, that's for sure. Also, just as a side note, he has a devoted monkey as a sidekick. Hanuman can grow to any size he wants, and he also has the entire worlds primate community behind him. That's quite a team committed to fighting for Rama's gain.
So I'm sure you're asking yourself why I think Jesus and Buddha wouldn't stand a chance. They are formidable opponents, right? Wrong. I'll start with Jesus. He's the son of God for starters. He's not even God. Just the son of God. Now I know that some of your are going to argue that he is in fact God, and that he's a part of a third of God, but there are also forms of Christianity that are going to tell you to shut up because you're wrong, and the Jew's will just plain out disagree with you that he is even the son of God. So, for those people who want to argue that he is God, be happy, I'm at least granting you the fact that he is related to the almighty. But still, he was a pacifist. Jesus wasn't a big fan of fighting. He ended up killing himself to avoid it, remember? I think that if it came down to a three way battle to the death, he would find a way to make it seem like he was sacrificing himself. Maybe take one of Rama's arrows in protecting Buddha?
Why not Buddha? Just look at him. He weighs something along the lines of a million billion pounds. Plus, he's already reached Nirvana, why the hell would he care about death? He has no attachments in this world, and so death would only grant him endless rewards. Not to mention the fact that the guy's birthday is a week long celebration. Anyone who parties for a week to celebrate their birthday can't be that into the whole warfare thing. I can see him taking 30 or so arrows from Rama's bow, then biting the dust and ascending into eternal bliss.
That's my prediction for the Battle of the Gods. What do you think?
In my opinion, this is a hands down winning to Rama. But I want you to think about it and argue with me, especially if I either (a) did not include your god, or (b) said your god would lose. Fight me! That's what these gods would want!
Here's why I think Rama would win. First off, the guy is blue. How many blue people have you met that were still alive? I've seen a few on TV that were dead and blue, but alive people that are blue? I haven't seen a single one! So for starters, he's pretty unique. Second, he carries around a bow everywhere he goes. This isn't just a regular bow. No, this bow shoots arrows invested with the power of a god. His arrows can take on the form of light, can cause fires, can do pretty much whatever the heck he wants. Also, he single handedly scoured the entire planet to save his love, Sita, from the evil Ravana. For those who don't know who Ravana is, he is a guy with 10 heads and 10 pairs of arms. That's 20 hands. Can you imagine how hard it would be to fight someone like that? Jesus couldn't do it, that's for sure. Also, just as a side note, he has a devoted monkey as a sidekick. Hanuman can grow to any size he wants, and he also has the entire worlds primate community behind him. That's quite a team committed to fighting for Rama's gain.
So I'm sure you're asking yourself why I think Jesus and Buddha wouldn't stand a chance. They are formidable opponents, right? Wrong. I'll start with Jesus. He's the son of God for starters. He's not even God. Just the son of God. Now I know that some of your are going to argue that he is in fact God, and that he's a part of a third of God, but there are also forms of Christianity that are going to tell you to shut up because you're wrong, and the Jew's will just plain out disagree with you that he is even the son of God. So, for those people who want to argue that he is God, be happy, I'm at least granting you the fact that he is related to the almighty. But still, he was a pacifist. Jesus wasn't a big fan of fighting. He ended up killing himself to avoid it, remember? I think that if it came down to a three way battle to the death, he would find a way to make it seem like he was sacrificing himself. Maybe take one of Rama's arrows in protecting Buddha?
Why not Buddha? Just look at him. He weighs something along the lines of a million billion pounds. Plus, he's already reached Nirvana, why the hell would he care about death? He has no attachments in this world, and so death would only grant him endless rewards. Not to mention the fact that the guy's birthday is a week long celebration. Anyone who parties for a week to celebrate their birthday can't be that into the whole warfare thing. I can see him taking 30 or so arrows from Rama's bow, then biting the dust and ascending into eternal bliss.
That's my prediction for the Battle of the Gods. What do you think?
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