God's Cockroach

Crickets are basically God's cockroaches. They look nicer, they are far more athletic, and they support the commercial food business keeping our economy in check. I say this because the area where I am currently residing has become burial ground for crickets. I'm assuming they swarmed here to pass on their genetic material, but instead, all they are getting is a nice big plate of deadness.

I'm assuming this is because of all of the recent construction. See, much of my school and the surrounding area has expanded rapidly in the past six months. Many fields have vanished, and buildings have sprung up to replace them. I made my semi-annual trip to McDonald's the other day, which is constructed smack in the middle of a field next to the freeway. Apparently, the crickets wanted some roughage also because the whole expanse of the drive-through wall (which is usually white brick) was black with crickets.

Once I had confirmed they supported the economy, my cockroach parallel began to form. Cockroaches are the work of the devil. They are everything disgusting in the world. It's like all the nasty of every creature is combined together to form one ultra-nasty "uggo". They're awful. Crickets, on the other hand, are just a prettier, cleaner bug with better taste. Cockroaches eat anything and nothing. Crickets apparently like McDonald's. I haven't seen crickets hanging around any other stores, and McDonald's is just a perfect symbol for the free enterprise economy. To me, that just screams "freedom". I like bugs that support my political views.

Also, crickets are jumpers. Cockroaches (some of them) fly. That makes them lazy. Crickets have huge hind legs that they throw themselves into the air with. That makes them athletic. They work. As far as I'm concerned, other bugs should look up to them and follow in their footsteps. If all bugs were willing to put forth the effort the crickets are, we may be able to get along with them better.

Finally, crickets are prettier. Their entire physical design is just so smooth and aerodynamic. They look like little bullets! Cockroaches look like shields. Fat lot of good that does them- stepping on them still crushes them to nothing. Crickets can jump right out from under my foot before I step on them. Their bullet design is useful. The cockroach shield design isn't.

I think it's only fair we give crickets the respect they deserve. I mean, they're out there busting their asses day in and day out just to get a bite of a Big Mac. Why not help them out?