This was a conversation between my brother and myself. This was the entire conversation. It started exactly as you see it, and ended the same way. This is the type of thing that happens when we talk just to each other. The world needs to know.
James says (9:21 PM):
you know what we should do?
Robert says (9:21 PM):
what?
James says (9:22 PM):
if when aliens came to earth, we peed on them, telling them that's how we greet oneanother
James says (9:22 PM):
it could be earth's joke
Robert says (9:22 PM):
Hmm, i don't know.
Robert says (9:22 PM):
They might be expecting that.
James says (9:23 PM):
maybe... we'd have to get someone good at not laughing to do it
James says (9:23 PM):
one snicker would make them suspect something
Robert says (9:23 PM):
And with a big dick.
Robert says (9:23 PM):
Because we don't want to look small.
James says (9:23 PM):
true
Robert says (9:23 PM):
Aliens usually prioritze strength by gurth...
Robert says (9:23 PM):
or so i've heard.
James says (9:23 PM):
me too
Robert says (9:24 PM):
yeah i think it could work.
James says (9:24 PM):
perhaps if their weakness was pee
James says (9:24 PM):
we could kill them with big dick urination
Robert says (9:25 PM):
That would just suck.
James says (9:25 PM):
so they'd die knowing our big penis' saved us all
Robert says (9:25 PM):
They would probobly then kill us.
Robert says (9:25 PM):
Yeah but if there are alot of them.
Robert says (9:25 PM):
That would be alot of urine.
James says (9:25 PM):
well, we'd lure them down with promises of candy
James says (9:26 PM):
or everyone would have to pee into a pee cannon
James says (9:26 PM):
which would be a huge supersoaker
James says (9:26 PM):
that shoots into space
Robert says (9:26 PM):
Well if urine is there weakness they wouldn't want candy.
James says (9:26 PM):
what if it was delicious candy?
Robert says (9:27 PM):
Maybe if it was very delicious looking.
James says (9:27 PM):
and then we'd pee cannon them
James says (9:27 PM):
which we'd market out to Supersoaker to build
James says (9:28 PM):
they're good at shooting fluids
Robert says (9:28 PM):
How could a urine cannon work?
Robert says (9:28 PM):
Everybody knows urine can't be preassurized.
James says (9:29 PM):
it'd be in a liquidgel film
James says (9:29 PM):
so when it fires, it'll be in a mushy wrapping
Robert says (9:29 PM):
Oh, smart thinking.
James says (9:29 PM):
and then when it impacts the target, it explodes like a water balloon
Robert says (9:29 PM):
What if the aliens are made of marshmellow.
James says (9:29 PM):
is their weakness still urine?
Robert says (9:29 PM):
Well that or being eaten i guess.
Robert says (9:29 PM):
How would the shell break on them.
James says (9:29 PM):
easy
James says (9:30 PM):
we'd attach a targeting laser to the cannon
James says (9:30 PM):
and put a detonation device inside the round
Robert says (9:30 PM):
Ah, do you think we'll have thta technology by then?
James says (9:30 PM):
so when it reaches the exact distance of the target, the device explodes
James says (9:30 PM):
i think if our lives depended on it, we'd be able to pull it off
Robert says (9:30 PM):
Smart thinking.
Robert says (9:30 PM):
Looks like you've got this all planned.
James says (9:30 PM):
i think so
Robert says (9:31 PM):
Just one question?
James says (9:31 PM):
yep?
Robert says (9:31 PM):
What if aliens come and their weakness isn't urine?
James says (9:31 PM):
i'm not prepared to face that problem
James says (9:31 PM):
let someone else do it
Robert says (9:31 PM):
lol
James says (9:31 PM):
i already created the contingency for urine weakened aliens
Robert says (9:31 PM):
perfect response
