Question of the day: Would you become a vampire if given the opportunity?
I would. I mean, I really can't see much of a drawback to the situation. Let's measure up the pro's and con's shall we?
Pro's: Immortality, Never tired, Never fatigued, Never hungry, Never thirsty, Higher sexual drive, More charismatic, Can't get hurt by anything except wooden stakes.
Con's: Have to drink blood, Can only go out at night, Must kill lots of people in order to stay in the healthy vampire state, Have no reflection.
Yep, I'd definitely do it. I mean, sure, the con's kind of suck, but if you think about it, they only suck because right now we are human. I don't think that stuff would bother a vampire, do you? I mean, how many vampires do you know that don't enjoy the hunt? Getting food (aka killing people and sucking them dry) is supposed to be a blast for vampires! Also, the night thing, that doesn't bother me. I mean, I'm nocturnal anyhow. I think the only difference would be that instead of being a loser for staying in until the sun goes down, I'd have a legitimate excuse. Oh, and the no reflection thing- Shaving would be hard, but other than that, I wouldn't mind at all.
As for the Pro's, Immortality! If you have been reading my posts for some time, you know how I feel about immortality. If you don't, let me summarize it in one word: YAY! Also, you can't get hurt by anything except wood to the heart! Oh, and sun- but whatever, that thing's only up in the sky for 12 hours a day. Being more charismatic with a higher sexual drive- good god, not only would you be a vampire, but you would be a vampire pimp who can't be hurt by any STI's! If you aren't sold yet, there is something horribly wrong with you. Guilt free sex with immortality.
Where do I sign?
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
Good (Intentions)
I wrote a dialog, a while back actually, involving two characters who have rather different opinions of the world. The one that I felt I related to the most had more of an optimistic view about people. Before you say, "yea right- you, an optimist?!" let must just go ahead and stop you. You are right. The point is, as my life has changed, I have begun to realize the truth of what the more pessimistic of the two said.
I will summarize their conversation here. It is a discussion between two Priests, though that information is pointless in this context:
"He is a good man."
"A good man? Before you trust anyone, my friend, you must first realize that no man is a good man. There are men who have good intentions, but even the best intentions are loaded with desires of self advancement. No, I'm afraid he is simply a man riddled with good intentions, and it is our job to ensure that his good intentions do not become our worst disasters."
"I disagree. Are we not all the product of perfection? Are we not all created from a being who is completely flawless in every conceivable way? Why can we not follow in her footsteps and be good people?"
"Because we are put on this planet to test our limits. From the second we are born, we are bombarded with evil. The world manipulates us, bends us, until the path to what is right is completely ripped up from underneath us. Everyone sins, my friend, everyone, and yet almost none of those sinners repent. But for some reason, almost every single one of them believes they are going to ascend to a better existence after death. Why is this? Because they have good intentions! Intentions lead to fallacy, fallacy leads to sin. Therefor, people are not good. They are good intentioned."
I remember writing this (or something close to this- what I have written is just a paraphrase of a longer conversation) and agreeing almost entirely with the second speaker- the one who believes people are fundamentally good. I would have said "I know many good people, and I do all I can to be one of them."
But you know what? I have changed my mind. I think it's rather childish to believe everyone is good. As I look back on everything I have done in my life, everything I have ever said, almost all of it has been with good intentions. But was it really good? We strut around every day making decisions based on what we believe to be the right choice when really all we are doing is acting on a good intention. What really makes our good intention good? There is so much conflict in the world today, so much disagreement, that your good intention may in fact be someone else's greatest fear. I have slipped up too many times around those that I love with my "good intentions" to believe that people are fundamentally good.
We are at best good intentioned; but I'd say even that is questionable.
I will summarize their conversation here. It is a discussion between two Priests, though that information is pointless in this context:
"He is a good man."
"A good man? Before you trust anyone, my friend, you must first realize that no man is a good man. There are men who have good intentions, but even the best intentions are loaded with desires of self advancement. No, I'm afraid he is simply a man riddled with good intentions, and it is our job to ensure that his good intentions do not become our worst disasters."
"I disagree. Are we not all the product of perfection? Are we not all created from a being who is completely flawless in every conceivable way? Why can we not follow in her footsteps and be good people?"
"Because we are put on this planet to test our limits. From the second we are born, we are bombarded with evil. The world manipulates us, bends us, until the path to what is right is completely ripped up from underneath us. Everyone sins, my friend, everyone, and yet almost none of those sinners repent. But for some reason, almost every single one of them believes they are going to ascend to a better existence after death. Why is this? Because they have good intentions! Intentions lead to fallacy, fallacy leads to sin. Therefor, people are not good. They are good intentioned."
I remember writing this (or something close to this- what I have written is just a paraphrase of a longer conversation) and agreeing almost entirely with the second speaker- the one who believes people are fundamentally good. I would have said "I know many good people, and I do all I can to be one of them."
But you know what? I have changed my mind. I think it's rather childish to believe everyone is good. As I look back on everything I have done in my life, everything I have ever said, almost all of it has been with good intentions. But was it really good? We strut around every day making decisions based on what we believe to be the right choice when really all we are doing is acting on a good intention. What really makes our good intention good? There is so much conflict in the world today, so much disagreement, that your good intention may in fact be someone else's greatest fear. I have slipped up too many times around those that I love with my "good intentions" to believe that people are fundamentally good.
We are at best good intentioned; but I'd say even that is questionable.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Dreams Reality
Ever wonder if the events of the day are simply the events of our dreams, and all those dreams that we experience are the reality of our lives? It's a funny thought, and completely impossible, but it's still a strange idea.
It would be very interesting if the "real world" was one where no laws of physics or science applied. I personally would be a huge fan if I could do anything I wanted whenever I wanted. Granted, there are a lot of times I lose control of my dreams, but it's always possible to get them back. Of course, I say that not having controlled my dreams for months. If I could, I doubt I would be such a bitter person.
Still, think about it. The world we experience when we are awake is rather dull compared to that of our dreams. If you could choose, would you want to be part of this world, or the dream one? I mean, I've had dreams where I could breathe under water, I could fly, I could use Magic, I could jump hundreds of feet or throw cars football field distances. Honestly, that's a lot better than this life.
Shame it's not possible...
It would be very interesting if the "real world" was one where no laws of physics or science applied. I personally would be a huge fan if I could do anything I wanted whenever I wanted. Granted, there are a lot of times I lose control of my dreams, but it's always possible to get them back. Of course, I say that not having controlled my dreams for months. If I could, I doubt I would be such a bitter person.
Still, think about it. The world we experience when we are awake is rather dull compared to that of our dreams. If you could choose, would you want to be part of this world, or the dream one? I mean, I've had dreams where I could breathe under water, I could fly, I could use Magic, I could jump hundreds of feet or throw cars football field distances. Honestly, that's a lot better than this life.
Shame it's not possible...
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
My Prime Minister
So here's the scoop. Gordon Brown is my new Prime Minister. You think I would be happy about this, wouldn't you. I mean, Blair is finally gone, and I don't have to deal with a lapdog as a Prime Minister anymore. Yes, Gordon Brown says he wants to "repair" England, bring back all those businesses we have lost: For example, British Gas, which is by no means owned by the British. Gordon Brown wants to bring power back to the people, give us what we have been demanding for years, and make England great again. Awesome.
Utter bullshit! That's what it is. Complete and utter bullshit. You have no idea how difficult it is to dodge through the media when piles of animal crap are being flung left and right. I'm telling you, I have almost been hit several times by flying dung!
Here's how I see it. Gordon Brown ran unopposed. No one ran against him. We didn't even vote! So, how easy is it to run your campaign "I want to do everything right!" when there is no one to oppose you! Worst part: People bought it! People got so suckered in that no one even bothered to say "hey, I wanna run for PM!" I'm sorry, I have a bit of a problem following someone who was self appointed, because that's pretty much what happened here.
What makes matters worse? The Queen has asked Prime Minister Brown to "reshape the government". Am I the only one that sees the possibilities here? I'm sorry, maybe I've been watching too much Star Wars, but last I checked, asking a self appointed government leader to rearrange the government is not usually the best idea.
But hell, what do I know, I didn't even vote!
Update 6-30-07: I was skimming through this post and realized I had left out one of the most important pieces of information attacking my system. I realize that not many American's fully understand the system, so let me explain: The reason we didn't vote was because there was no party switch. Blair stepped down, so the party (which is what gets elected) picked a person to replace him. That's how it works, and what I am pointing out is that I disagree with this system- So, as you read, take that into context.
Utter bullshit! That's what it is. Complete and utter bullshit. You have no idea how difficult it is to dodge through the media when piles of animal crap are being flung left and right. I'm telling you, I have almost been hit several times by flying dung!
Here's how I see it. Gordon Brown ran unopposed. No one ran against him. We didn't even vote! So, how easy is it to run your campaign "I want to do everything right!" when there is no one to oppose you! Worst part: People bought it! People got so suckered in that no one even bothered to say "hey, I wanna run for PM!" I'm sorry, I have a bit of a problem following someone who was self appointed, because that's pretty much what happened here.
What makes matters worse? The Queen has asked Prime Minister Brown to "reshape the government". Am I the only one that sees the possibilities here? I'm sorry, maybe I've been watching too much Star Wars, but last I checked, asking a self appointed government leader to rearrange the government is not usually the best idea.
But hell, what do I know, I didn't even vote!
Update 6-30-07: I was skimming through this post and realized I had left out one of the most important pieces of information attacking my system. I realize that not many American's fully understand the system, so let me explain: The reason we didn't vote was because there was no party switch. Blair stepped down, so the party (which is what gets elected) picked a person to replace him. That's how it works, and what I am pointing out is that I disagree with this system- So, as you read, take that into context.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Sound
I like being able to hear. Sounds, for the most part, make me happy. There are of course those sounds that everyone hates, but I don't think it's fair to punish the majority for the actions of a minority. I think I've said that before... Oh well.
The best kinds of sounds are ones we atone to something that makes us happy. For example, a couples "song". Why do they do this? Honestly, I used to think that picking a song was a stupid idea, but now that I've had some time to think about it, it makes sense. It reminds the listener, in just that short time, of all the feelings they possess for their significant other. But then love and commitment are powerful emotions.
Sound can inspire other great feelings also. There has been research into certain noises that fuel sexual arousal. Weird, I know, but it's pretty amazing.
I like a lot of sounds. Rain is one of my favourites. The stronger the downpour, the better. I love rain. Bees is another. The buzzing of bees is just a beautiful noise. Wind rustling trees, and the sound of a cold day. Don't think that cold has a sound? Go stand outside in winter for five minutes, and you'll change your mind. I also like acoustic guitars, and the lute. Funny instrument.
What sounds inspire warm feelings in you?
The best kinds of sounds are ones we atone to something that makes us happy. For example, a couples "song". Why do they do this? Honestly, I used to think that picking a song was a stupid idea, but now that I've had some time to think about it, it makes sense. It reminds the listener, in just that short time, of all the feelings they possess for their significant other. But then love and commitment are powerful emotions.
Sound can inspire other great feelings also. There has been research into certain noises that fuel sexual arousal. Weird, I know, but it's pretty amazing.
I like a lot of sounds. Rain is one of my favourites. The stronger the downpour, the better. I love rain. Bees is another. The buzzing of bees is just a beautiful noise. Wind rustling trees, and the sound of a cold day. Don't think that cold has a sound? Go stand outside in winter for five minutes, and you'll change your mind. I also like acoustic guitars, and the lute. Funny instrument.
What sounds inspire warm feelings in you?
Monday, June 25, 2007
Living the Past- Tomorrow
I have come to notice two valuable things about human nature. The first is that everyone thinks they are better looking than they really are. Yes, even those people who say "I'm hideous" when really they know they are gorgeous. They are lying. They know they are gorgeous, but don't want to admit it. The truth is that deep down they live their lives believing, though they'd never admit it, that they are actually prettier than they really are. I just feel bad for ugly people who know they are ugly. They must be hideous if they think they are ugly, and in truth, their self perception is higher than the worlds.
The other truth is that everyone seems to live, in some sense, in the past. The argument "everything that happens in our past shaped who we are today" could be applied, and so I'm throwing it out there for you right now. There, it's said. And here's where you're wrong. I'm not talking about the past in that sense. So ha! That's what you get for cutting me off before giving me a chance to explain my thoughts.
All those events that shaped us, that made us who we are; well, it seems to me that they also own us. They stop us from doing things we've done, they make us sad or happy (more the former than the latter- at least from my experiences), and they pretty much set the bar for what we can handle as an individual.
I for one have found myself looking back rather often and thinking "what if?" This is new for me, because I'm not really a "what if" kinda guy. I don't like believing things could have been better if I hadn't acted the way I did. Hindsight is 20/20, but living in the moment is blind, and I'm not going to punish myself because I didn't get corrective surgery.
No, I think we need to stop letting all the moments of our past own us. I think it's time humanity took a completely unified turn in the other direction. Let's let the events of the future control us. Given the fact we have no idea what the future holds, I think it's a good way to live. We'd be forced to operate by the moment rather than thinking back to the past. I think it would be fun. Could add an element of danger to our lives also, and hell, everyone could use a little more danger. Except lion tamers. They've got enough. Who would pick that job?!
Anyhow: Go, do it. We're starting tonight at midnight. I expect all of you to be there.
The other truth is that everyone seems to live, in some sense, in the past. The argument "everything that happens in our past shaped who we are today" could be applied, and so I'm throwing it out there for you right now. There, it's said. And here's where you're wrong. I'm not talking about the past in that sense. So ha! That's what you get for cutting me off before giving me a chance to explain my thoughts.
All those events that shaped us, that made us who we are; well, it seems to me that they also own us. They stop us from doing things we've done, they make us sad or happy (more the former than the latter- at least from my experiences), and they pretty much set the bar for what we can handle as an individual.
I for one have found myself looking back rather often and thinking "what if?" This is new for me, because I'm not really a "what if" kinda guy. I don't like believing things could have been better if I hadn't acted the way I did. Hindsight is 20/20, but living in the moment is blind, and I'm not going to punish myself because I didn't get corrective surgery.
No, I think we need to stop letting all the moments of our past own us. I think it's time humanity took a completely unified turn in the other direction. Let's let the events of the future control us. Given the fact we have no idea what the future holds, I think it's a good way to live. We'd be forced to operate by the moment rather than thinking back to the past. I think it would be fun. Could add an element of danger to our lives also, and hell, everyone could use a little more danger. Except lion tamers. They've got enough. Who would pick that job?!
Anyhow: Go, do it. We're starting tonight at midnight. I expect all of you to be there.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Woosh
I like magic. It has become a very large problem, and an even larger inspiration for me. The fact that actual magic, as in the powers that wizards and sorcerers possess, doesn't it exist- well, to be frank, it makes me sad. I want magic. Even more than that, I just want magic to exist.
I've put a lot of thought into this. I mean, I write fantasy, so I have a lot of time to sit back and contemplate the possibilities presented by having magic. For one, I would learn how to fly. I assume that would be a difficult feat to accomplish, but I think I could pull it off. Once I learned how to fly, I would then learn how to move objects from a distance. But that's stepping away from the focal issue.
Flight. Magic is great, yes, but really it's just a stepping stone to a greater ability. How many people have you asked if they would want to fly, and they say no? None. You know, except those people who are deathly afraid of heights, but as far as I'm concerned, if you don't like flying then you aren't a real person.
I'd be willing to take an alternate route to learning to fly. For example, I'd be perfectly fine with angel wings. I'd also be cool with going to space. I mean, given the world as it is today, that is probably my best bet. I'm just afraid that once I got up there, I wouldn't want to come back down. I wonder how long it'll be before I can get a holiday house floating around up there in orbit. That would be nice...
Magic and Flight. Awesome.
I've put a lot of thought into this. I mean, I write fantasy, so I have a lot of time to sit back and contemplate the possibilities presented by having magic. For one, I would learn how to fly. I assume that would be a difficult feat to accomplish, but I think I could pull it off. Once I learned how to fly, I would then learn how to move objects from a distance. But that's stepping away from the focal issue.
Flight. Magic is great, yes, but really it's just a stepping stone to a greater ability. How many people have you asked if they would want to fly, and they say no? None. You know, except those people who are deathly afraid of heights, but as far as I'm concerned, if you don't like flying then you aren't a real person.
I'd be willing to take an alternate route to learning to fly. For example, I'd be perfectly fine with angel wings. I'd also be cool with going to space. I mean, given the world as it is today, that is probably my best bet. I'm just afraid that once I got up there, I wouldn't want to come back down. I wonder how long it'll be before I can get a holiday house floating around up there in orbit. That would be nice...
Magic and Flight. Awesome.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Beating the System
Recently, I finished the first manuscript to my first book. As you can assume, I was proud of myself. I wrote a book! How many people do you know who can say that? You would think that this would be the highlight of my day, the point where I could sit back and say to myself: "James, unless you find a winning lottery ticket, your day has peaked. Go to bed."
You would be wrong.
No, my day of fantastic was only getting started. There is a lot of work that goes into a manuscript, for those of you who have never written anything longer than a five page essay. Mine, for example, is over 450 pages long. It has over 100,000 words and it took the systematic slaughtering of about half a forest to print.
Before all this can be done, however, all the information had to be transferred onto a single document with one inch margins and 25 lines per page. That is how I totaled the 450 pages. This is where the story gets great. Somewhere around page 200, Word randomly froze. For about fifteen seconds, it sat there contemplating what to do with my document. Then, an error message popped up. It read: "Document too large to correct grammar and spelling". I had done it. Years of work, and I had finally done it. I had beaten Word.
If that weren't enough, at that exact moment, the heavens opened up and a single beam of light shone down onto my computer with a choir of angels singing about my victory. Okay, that's a lie, but I did beat Word, and it was amazing.
When was the last time you beat Word? Don't lie. Nobody likes a liar.
You would be wrong.
No, my day of fantastic was only getting started. There is a lot of work that goes into a manuscript, for those of you who have never written anything longer than a five page essay. Mine, for example, is over 450 pages long. It has over 100,000 words and it took the systematic slaughtering of about half a forest to print.
Before all this can be done, however, all the information had to be transferred onto a single document with one inch margins and 25 lines per page. That is how I totaled the 450 pages. This is where the story gets great. Somewhere around page 200, Word randomly froze. For about fifteen seconds, it sat there contemplating what to do with my document. Then, an error message popped up. It read: "Document too large to correct grammar and spelling". I had done it. Years of work, and I had finally done it. I had beaten Word.
If that weren't enough, at that exact moment, the heavens opened up and a single beam of light shone down onto my computer with a choir of angels singing about my victory. Okay, that's a lie, but I did beat Word, and it was amazing.
When was the last time you beat Word? Don't lie. Nobody likes a liar.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Moral Compass 2
Today is another one of those days where I am going to confuse that dial of yours that points towards "good" and "bad". Something about these days makes me a little warmer inside, why that may be, I'll probably never know. Still, I enjoy the warmth, and so it is time to play.
Imagine there was a universal cure for STI's (STI is the new name for STD, for all of those of you who are still stuck in the past). One shot, and you would forever be immune, and forever cured, of any STI's you may have contracted, or possibly could contract. This drug was flawless in every sense of the word. It increased sexual drive, gave better orgasms, and increased performance ten fold. The one drawback to it, however, was that you were now 5% more likely to fall victim to a very rare form of cancer. Once contracted, this cancer has a 50% cure rate. Would you have the shot?
If you said no, then again, you are out of the game already. You can stop reading, but I am going to change the rules again later, so why not keep going just for the heck of it. Now, imagine that another drawback to this STI-killing shot is that it produces another form of STI. The cancer, which you have 5% of a chance to contract, can now be passed sexually. Any partner you sleep with has a 1% chance that they will react to the shot, and fall victim to the same cancer. However, if that person has already had the shot, that 1% is void, and they will only have to worry about the initial 5% they willingly accepted when they got the vaccine. Would you have the shot then?
What if the cancer had a 75% survival probability? Would you do it then? What if it was 80%?
Would you still have the shot if you were required, by law, not to tell your partner you had had it? Is 1% low enough odds for you to keep this hidden from everyone?
Let's assume then that the 5% chance you have to react negatively to the shot and get cancer was changed to 1%, and the 1% transfer probability was changed to 5%. Again, the rules of transfer still apply. If both partners have had the shot, then there is only a 1% chance that either of you will get the cancer (assuming again that the survival chance is 50/50). Would you do it then?
Discuss.
UPDATE 6-23-07: It has been brought to my attention that the shot can simply be administered as a vaccine. I had thought of this, but did not explain myself. The shot is a one-time offer. You can only get it now, or never. The choice is yours based on the above information.
Imagine there was a universal cure for STI's (STI is the new name for STD, for all of those of you who are still stuck in the past). One shot, and you would forever be immune, and forever cured, of any STI's you may have contracted, or possibly could contract. This drug was flawless in every sense of the word. It increased sexual drive, gave better orgasms, and increased performance ten fold. The one drawback to it, however, was that you were now 5% more likely to fall victim to a very rare form of cancer. Once contracted, this cancer has a 50% cure rate. Would you have the shot?
If you said no, then again, you are out of the game already. You can stop reading, but I am going to change the rules again later, so why not keep going just for the heck of it. Now, imagine that another drawback to this STI-killing shot is that it produces another form of STI. The cancer, which you have 5% of a chance to contract, can now be passed sexually. Any partner you sleep with has a 1% chance that they will react to the shot, and fall victim to the same cancer. However, if that person has already had the shot, that 1% is void, and they will only have to worry about the initial 5% they willingly accepted when they got the vaccine. Would you have the shot then?
What if the cancer had a 75% survival probability? Would you do it then? What if it was 80%?
Would you still have the shot if you were required, by law, not to tell your partner you had had it? Is 1% low enough odds for you to keep this hidden from everyone?
Let's assume then that the 5% chance you have to react negatively to the shot and get cancer was changed to 1%, and the 1% transfer probability was changed to 5%. Again, the rules of transfer still apply. If both partners have had the shot, then there is only a 1% chance that either of you will get the cancer (assuming again that the survival chance is 50/50). Would you do it then?
Discuss.
UPDATE 6-23-07: It has been brought to my attention that the shot can simply be administered as a vaccine. I had thought of this, but did not explain myself. The shot is a one-time offer. You can only get it now, or never. The choice is yours based on the above information.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Being Quoted
Ever since I realized my passion was in literature, I have always wanted to be quoted. It seems to me like a rather classy thing to have happen to an individual, assuming it is done correctly. I would not like to be quoted by, for example, a group of Nazi's. I think that would weigh heavily against my conscience, and cause me a great deal of confusion as to how something I said could be twisted so negatively.
I would like to avoid this, if at all possible. I have a recently occurring condition in which I am concerned by what others think of me. Some people would look upon me negatively for this, but I think it makes me a little better of a person. I'll leave that much up to you to decide.
Still, I would like to avoid any negative connotations towards my being quoted, so if you could simply take that into consideration, I would appreciate it. I say this to you, of all people, because I am bestowing my being quoted onto your shoulders. Don't worry, for I am not trying to stress you out. I am going to do all the work for you.
Below is a list of quotes by me that you may use to make me a quoted man. I'll even set them up in a fashion that will allow you to use at least one of them in almost any given situation, should you word the setup correctly. I'll even cite myself for you, so you don't need to worry about that! Aren't I just a great friend?
Here goes:
"Perfect is just a word. What makes something perfect is not that it is flawless, but that it is flawed in all the right ways."
"There is no point pointing out the negative; it is staring us in the face from the moment we wake."
"Optimism is the pessimists weakness. Pessimism is the optimists fuel."
"In life there are only two truths. One: No matter how good you are at something, there will always be someone better. Two: No matter how much better that person is, you can always have them whacked."
"Life is full of pain. Carry a band-aid."
"Sex comes and goes like a summer breeze. HIV is forever."
"If you give up trying, then you'll be a quitter. On the plus side, you can't fail any further."
"The problem with time is we always seem to be waiting on it."
Mitchener, James. "Being Quoted." The Mitchener Mind. 21 June 2007. <[Insert web address here]>.
There. All done. You can pick and choose which parts of each you want to use quote me. Heck, with this citation, you can quote any part of this article. Enjoy, and make me proud!
I would like to avoid this, if at all possible. I have a recently occurring condition in which I am concerned by what others think of me. Some people would look upon me negatively for this, but I think it makes me a little better of a person. I'll leave that much up to you to decide.
Still, I would like to avoid any negative connotations towards my being quoted, so if you could simply take that into consideration, I would appreciate it. I say this to you, of all people, because I am bestowing my being quoted onto your shoulders. Don't worry, for I am not trying to stress you out. I am going to do all the work for you.
Below is a list of quotes by me that you may use to make me a quoted man. I'll even set them up in a fashion that will allow you to use at least one of them in almost any given situation, should you word the setup correctly. I'll even cite myself for you, so you don't need to worry about that! Aren't I just a great friend?
Here goes:
"Perfect is just a word. What makes something perfect is not that it is flawless, but that it is flawed in all the right ways."
"There is no point pointing out the negative; it is staring us in the face from the moment we wake."
"Optimism is the pessimists weakness. Pessimism is the optimists fuel."
"In life there are only two truths. One: No matter how good you are at something, there will always be someone better. Two: No matter how much better that person is, you can always have them whacked."
"Life is full of pain. Carry a band-aid."
"Sex comes and goes like a summer breeze. HIV is forever."
"If you give up trying, then you'll be a quitter. On the plus side, you can't fail any further."
"The problem with time is we always seem to be waiting on it."
Mitchener, James. "Being Quoted." The Mitchener Mind. 21 June 2007. <[Insert web address here]>
There. All done. You can pick and choose which parts of each you want to use quote me. Heck, with this citation, you can quote any part of this article. Enjoy, and make me proud!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Looking Back
It really doesn't take much to be noticed in today's world. There are many fools out there who are written about in the paper, filmed for TV, or simply posted on the Internet. This bothers me.
What happens when we all die and the next species, be it another line of redeveloped humans or a ship full of aliens, comes down to Earth and begins uncovering all we have done. All our TV shows, all our magazines, all our newspapers are about idiots. I have a feeling this won't look good for us. I can see the aliens now, sitting back and hitting Play on Jackass 2.
"Wow, Bob, did you see that? That guy just smashed his reproductive organs on that pole!"
"I did see that, John, I wonder why he did that?"
"Perhaps they aren't allowed to reproduce in this society."
"Or perhaps they are idiots."
"Yes, I like that one. Let's go with that."
"I'll tell the King. Earthians are idiots."
And that will be that. We'll forever go down in history books across the universe as idiots. I don't know about you, but I'm not OK with this. I think we need a change of plan here. I've come to notice that "reality TV" only focuses on the most dysfunctional human beings on the planet. I mean, we have a whole show dedicated to what Paris Hilton does with her day. Why don't we have a reality TV show where we follow around a savant? Then all the people amused by the illogical will get their fill, and yet we'll get to see absolute genius in the process. It'll be a double whammy.
It's a step in the right direction, and that's the key. We need to stop leaving proof that we are idiots, and start leaving proof that we are smart.
Maybe we can spread a complete list of all of Einsteins research across the surface of the planet, you know, just in case-
What happens when we all die and the next species, be it another line of redeveloped humans or a ship full of aliens, comes down to Earth and begins uncovering all we have done. All our TV shows, all our magazines, all our newspapers are about idiots. I have a feeling this won't look good for us. I can see the aliens now, sitting back and hitting Play on Jackass 2.
"Wow, Bob, did you see that? That guy just smashed his reproductive organs on that pole!"
"I did see that, John, I wonder why he did that?"
"Perhaps they aren't allowed to reproduce in this society."
"Or perhaps they are idiots."
"Yes, I like that one. Let's go with that."
"I'll tell the King. Earthians are idiots."
And that will be that. We'll forever go down in history books across the universe as idiots. I don't know about you, but I'm not OK with this. I think we need a change of plan here. I've come to notice that "reality TV" only focuses on the most dysfunctional human beings on the planet. I mean, we have a whole show dedicated to what Paris Hilton does with her day. Why don't we have a reality TV show where we follow around a savant? Then all the people amused by the illogical will get their fill, and yet we'll get to see absolute genius in the process. It'll be a double whammy.
It's a step in the right direction, and that's the key. We need to stop leaving proof that we are idiots, and start leaving proof that we are smart.
Maybe we can spread a complete list of all of Einsteins research across the surface of the planet, you know, just in case-
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Toothbrush's End
I am a fan of toothbrushes. I am a fan of anything that gives its job its all, and toothbrushes just have a tendency to do that. I have met a few lazy toothbrushes in my time, for instance there was once an electrical one that I could simply not agree with. It would sit around all day on its charger, and then when it was called into work, it would whine and complain the whole time, spinning its head around in circles and vibrating my arm so hard that I no longer felt compelled to brush my teeth. He was lazy. Manual toothbrushes; I respect those.
A toothbrush has a certain level of class to it. It knows its job, and it does it well, even in the face of its own demise. A toothbrush knows it will die cleaning one day, it knows its bristles will fall out, will reshape themselves, and yet it still cleans. Unfaltering commitment. I respect that in plastic.
When it comes close to the toothbrushes end, there's always that feeling of longing. If the toothbrush could talk, I often feel he would be saying something like this:
"I have fought my hardest, sir. Killed all the plaque and tooth decay I can. I've got nothing left."
"You did well, toothbrush"
"Thank you sir. I'll see you... on the... other... side..."
"Go in peace, soldier."
And off he goes to toothbrush heaven. I don't know if such a place exists, but I hope it does. Toothbrushes deserve their happy ending too. They do so much, and get such little reward for it, and yet look at where we'd be with out them. England would have even more tooth decay!
I think we should all spend the next five minutes paying homage to our fallen toothbrushes. A moment of silence is in order. Go, now, and reflect in peace. Give your toothbrush a hug. Say thank you once you have cleaned. Say goodbye when you discard it. It loves you. You should love it too.
A toothbrush has a certain level of class to it. It knows its job, and it does it well, even in the face of its own demise. A toothbrush knows it will die cleaning one day, it knows its bristles will fall out, will reshape themselves, and yet it still cleans. Unfaltering commitment. I respect that in plastic.
When it comes close to the toothbrushes end, there's always that feeling of longing. If the toothbrush could talk, I often feel he would be saying something like this:
"I have fought my hardest, sir. Killed all the plaque and tooth decay I can. I've got nothing left."
"You did well, toothbrush"
"Thank you sir. I'll see you... on the... other... side..."
"Go in peace, soldier."
And off he goes to toothbrush heaven. I don't know if such a place exists, but I hope it does. Toothbrushes deserve their happy ending too. They do so much, and get such little reward for it, and yet look at where we'd be with out them. England would have even more tooth decay!
I think we should all spend the next five minutes paying homage to our fallen toothbrushes. A moment of silence is in order. Go, now, and reflect in peace. Give your toothbrush a hug. Say thank you once you have cleaned. Say goodbye when you discard it. It loves you. You should love it too.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Evolution
Evolution is a good thing. It's better than God snapping his fingers and creating everything as is. Before you get mad, let me explain why, because I'm pretty sure when you think about it this way, you'll agree, even if you don't change your beliefs.
Evolution exists because everything is constantly changing. Natural selection cancels out the useless or flawed genes, even if it means the creature has to go through life a virgin. It also allows the most able to spread its genes to gain the upper hand. Survival of the fittest. That was my incredibly simple breakdown of evolution. I realize factors are being left out, but for this post, none of that stuff matters.
Now lets think about this for a second. Think about the possibilities. Humans don't pick their mate solely on the ability to pass on their genes. Granted, we tend to be naturally attracted to those with a healthy physique, but it doesn't mean we always breed in that direction. Having more than four fingers and a thumb is a recessive trait. That means that if we breed it with something dominant, odds are against us regular numbered finger people. Yet I don't know anyone with more than four fingers and a thumb. See, we ignore physical traits based on one other factor; personality.
What if we didn't?
Think of the possibilities. What if a mutant baby was born with gills, angel wings coming out its back, it could spit fire as it flew, it had a tail and talons on its feet to clasp onto things. A flying fish dragon harpy monkey! Imagine if you could interbreed just a couple of those genes into your family. Wouldn't you want your kids to have gills? What if you could give him/her wings. Would you? What if you could interbreed the chameleon effect. Your kid could change colour based on his environment. Wouldn't that be great!
It may be too late for us, according to Darwin, but hell, I'm willing to breed with Chameleon-Woman in order to give my kids the simple hope of having the gene.
Evolution exists because everything is constantly changing. Natural selection cancels out the useless or flawed genes, even if it means the creature has to go through life a virgin. It also allows the most able to spread its genes to gain the upper hand. Survival of the fittest. That was my incredibly simple breakdown of evolution. I realize factors are being left out, but for this post, none of that stuff matters.
Now lets think about this for a second. Think about the possibilities. Humans don't pick their mate solely on the ability to pass on their genes. Granted, we tend to be naturally attracted to those with a healthy physique, but it doesn't mean we always breed in that direction. Having more than four fingers and a thumb is a recessive trait. That means that if we breed it with something dominant, odds are against us regular numbered finger people. Yet I don't know anyone with more than four fingers and a thumb. See, we ignore physical traits based on one other factor; personality.
What if we didn't?
Think of the possibilities. What if a mutant baby was born with gills, angel wings coming out its back, it could spit fire as it flew, it had a tail and talons on its feet to clasp onto things. A flying fish dragon harpy monkey! Imagine if you could interbreed just a couple of those genes into your family. Wouldn't you want your kids to have gills? What if you could give him/her wings. Would you? What if you could interbreed the chameleon effect. Your kid could change colour based on his environment. Wouldn't that be great!
It may be too late for us, according to Darwin, but hell, I'm willing to breed with Chameleon-Woman in order to give my kids the simple hope of having the gene.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Caps or Lowers?
Names are interesting. They say a lot about a person. Names can be weak, powerful, quiet, loud, inconspicuous, blatant, etc. They are wonderful things. There are certain names that just grab at your attention. Yakapo, for example, is just one of those names that I can't say enough. Yakapo. Yakapo. Yakapo. What fun. But more importantly, a single name can shift its meaning simply through its presentation.
For the primary breakdown, I will use my own name. James. See, James, on its own in the basic written form is standard. It can hold power if used correctly, and it seems to just flow off the tongue. JAMES, on the other hand, is far more powerful. It calls your attention, makes you want to know a JAMES, makes you wish you were one. james is very informal. It makes you comfortable. It has no "POW!" to it, and is simply there to sooth your mind. For James, I prefer the all caps. JAMES is my favourite of the three. However, if I am using my full name, I would write it James R. Mitchener. There is just something about that which makes me proud to be a James.
Other names are different. Lantz, for example, must be written with a capital "L" and lowercase followings. I think it's because of the unique spelling, and too much uniqueness would be overwhelming. So, we keep it normal.
An interesting couplet of names are Kristen and Kristin. I have known both, but felt very different about both the names. Kristen could only be written by me as "kristen". That's who she was. I hated Kristen, and hated KRISTEN even more. Kristin, however, has always been "Kristin", and will always be. KRISTIN is just daunting, and kristin is far too weak a name.
Here's a list of people I know and how I see their names:
Robert
Josh
beth
Bryan
MIKE
pulkit
JIM
josh c.
BROOKS
Kyle
garrett
Got you thinking? How do you see your own name? How do you see mine? Other peoples?
Discuss.
For the primary breakdown, I will use my own name. James. See, James, on its own in the basic written form is standard. It can hold power if used correctly, and it seems to just flow off the tongue. JAMES, on the other hand, is far more powerful. It calls your attention, makes you want to know a JAMES, makes you wish you were one. james is very informal. It makes you comfortable. It has no "POW!" to it, and is simply there to sooth your mind. For James, I prefer the all caps. JAMES is my favourite of the three. However, if I am using my full name, I would write it James R. Mitchener. There is just something about that which makes me proud to be a James.
Other names are different. Lantz, for example, must be written with a capital "L" and lowercase followings. I think it's because of the unique spelling, and too much uniqueness would be overwhelming. So, we keep it normal.
An interesting couplet of names are Kristen and Kristin. I have known both, but felt very different about both the names. Kristen could only be written by me as "kristen". That's who she was. I hated Kristen, and hated KRISTEN even more. Kristin, however, has always been "Kristin", and will always be. KRISTIN is just daunting, and kristin is far too weak a name.
Here's a list of people I know and how I see their names:
Robert
Josh
beth
Bryan
MIKE
pulkit
JIM
josh c.
BROOKS
Kyle
garrett
Got you thinking? How do you see your own name? How do you see mine? Other peoples?
Discuss.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Dreaming of Sleeping
Complaint: Dreams must exist for the soul purpose of destroying your moral
Further Complain: Dreams have absolutely no scientific point (that we know of).
Those two complaints are important for today's post. For the past few months, I have not slept through the night. Freud would say it's because I'm acting out all of my wants, hopes, and desires. Apparently Freud hasn't been in many people's heads while they were sleeping. Perhaps he was lucky enough to only dream about what he wanted and desired, I however am tortured by things I simply want to forget.
Here's my normal night, in a nutshell. Go to bed anytime from 21:00-23:00. Read for an hour, maybe two if I went to bed at 21:00. Then, I go to sleep. Don't be fooled, it's fake sleep. I am out for maybe 15 minutes before the first dream hits. Then, I sweat, I roll, I toss, I turn, and even once I cried (which is strange cause no matter what happens to me in the day, I simply can't seem to shed a single tear anymore). Then, I wake up. Usually angry at both the dream and the fact I only got 15 minutes of sleep.
The dreams are weird. I suppose in some way, they are my desires. Twisted, but possible. If it's true, my desires are the very things that are causing me unbearable pain. But hey, the human mind has done stranger things. Lets roll with it.
I usually stay awake for about 10-20 minutes trying to shake the dream from my mind. It never works. Then, I go back to sleep. 15 minutes later, it happens again. I repeat the cycle.
Anyone else have this problem? I'm starting to feel like I'm going crazy, and for someone who considers himself rather sane, it's sorta bothering me. I used to love sleep. It was my favourite part of the day. Not anymore. Sleep means dreams, and dreams mean depression. I work all day to shake those feelings, and BANG, in one dream they are back in my head.
I hate dreams.
Further Complain: Dreams have absolutely no scientific point (that we know of).
Those two complaints are important for today's post. For the past few months, I have not slept through the night. Freud would say it's because I'm acting out all of my wants, hopes, and desires. Apparently Freud hasn't been in many people's heads while they were sleeping. Perhaps he was lucky enough to only dream about what he wanted and desired, I however am tortured by things I simply want to forget.
Here's my normal night, in a nutshell. Go to bed anytime from 21:00-23:00. Read for an hour, maybe two if I went to bed at 21:00. Then, I go to sleep. Don't be fooled, it's fake sleep. I am out for maybe 15 minutes before the first dream hits. Then, I sweat, I roll, I toss, I turn, and even once I cried (which is strange cause no matter what happens to me in the day, I simply can't seem to shed a single tear anymore). Then, I wake up. Usually angry at both the dream and the fact I only got 15 minutes of sleep.
The dreams are weird. I suppose in some way, they are my desires. Twisted, but possible. If it's true, my desires are the very things that are causing me unbearable pain. But hey, the human mind has done stranger things. Lets roll with it.
I usually stay awake for about 10-20 minutes trying to shake the dream from my mind. It never works. Then, I go back to sleep. 15 minutes later, it happens again. I repeat the cycle.
Anyone else have this problem? I'm starting to feel like I'm going crazy, and for someone who considers himself rather sane, it's sorta bothering me. I used to love sleep. It was my favourite part of the day. Not anymore. Sleep means dreams, and dreams mean depression. I work all day to shake those feelings, and BANG, in one dream they are back in my head.
I hate dreams.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Exciting Nothings
Isn't it funny how we so regularly get excited about things that no one else gets excited about? I think it's one of human kinds most redeeming features. It makes me smile. How can you not, when someone is getting so excited about something so stupid that they look like a fool, but they are so full of joy that they simply don't notice, or if they do, they don't care. It's wonderful.
I for one have a number of things that just set me off. It's funny, because a lot of them I picked up from a certain someone else. Those we grow close to always have the largest influence on us. Still, she knows who she is, and so do many of my readers. For example, numbers. Numbers just get me all excited when they are either all the same, or they make some crazy cool mathematical equation. I love it. My car is a perfect example. It's getting so close to having done 66666 miles I almost want to go drive it around and waste gas just to get it there. Every time I get in the drivers seat, I pee a little with the anticipation. Don't worry, I sit on a bag.
Time also gets me. When it's 1:23, or one of my favourites, 5:55. I like that one the best because it's the final sequence of three's you can get at the highest number. After that, you're done. I like them when they count down also, like 6:54. I wake up a lot at nights these days. In fact, I haven't slept through the night for almost three months. I'm usually sad, but how can I be when I roll over and my clock says 3:33 or 2:34? I just smile a little, roll over, and hug Sasha, my pillow girlfriend (I called her Sasha because I don't think I could ever be committed to a Sasha. It's too much like a dogs name. No offense meant to any Sasha's, I'm sure you are wonderful people).
There are other things too, unusual occurrences that no one else cares about, but just set me off. I'm printing my manuscript now for "Firra's Hand". I'm so excited watching the pages slide out the printer, all 400+ of them. It's like crack to me.
Now, I'm off to watch the pages slide out again. Oh, by-the-by, it's 6:15!
---For those that don't see it: 6-1=5. Good times. Good time.
I for one have a number of things that just set me off. It's funny, because a lot of them I picked up from a certain someone else. Those we grow close to always have the largest influence on us. Still, she knows who she is, and so do many of my readers. For example, numbers. Numbers just get me all excited when they are either all the same, or they make some crazy cool mathematical equation. I love it. My car is a perfect example. It's getting so close to having done 66666 miles I almost want to go drive it around and waste gas just to get it there. Every time I get in the drivers seat, I pee a little with the anticipation. Don't worry, I sit on a bag.
Time also gets me. When it's 1:23, or one of my favourites, 5:55. I like that one the best because it's the final sequence of three's you can get at the highest number. After that, you're done. I like them when they count down also, like 6:54. I wake up a lot at nights these days. In fact, I haven't slept through the night for almost three months. I'm usually sad, but how can I be when I roll over and my clock says 3:33 or 2:34? I just smile a little, roll over, and hug Sasha, my pillow girlfriend (I called her Sasha because I don't think I could ever be committed to a Sasha. It's too much like a dogs name. No offense meant to any Sasha's, I'm sure you are wonderful people).
There are other things too, unusual occurrences that no one else cares about, but just set me off. I'm printing my manuscript now for "Firra's Hand". I'm so excited watching the pages slide out the printer, all 400+ of them. It's like crack to me.
Now, I'm off to watch the pages slide out again. Oh, by-the-by, it's 6:15!
---For those that don't see it: 6-1=5. Good times. Good time.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Morning Routine
Everything is about routine in the mornings. There is nothing about waking up before school or work that isn't entirely based on routine. For me, it's as follows. Get up, hit alarm, go into bathroom, turn on shower, pee, get in shower, clean, get out shower, dry off, put on underwear, brush teeth three times, deodorize, put on the rest of my cloths, eat breakfast, have a yakult, find my backpack, leave apartment.
Sound similar to your morning?
Despite how much I hate routines, being a person who prefers to have a bit of spice in his life, I get incredibly angry when my morning routine is broken. For example, when I hit "off" instead of "snooze" and go right back to sleep. Then I wake up with that "oh shit, I'm late!" feeling, and don't have time to shower or pee or something like that. Those are the worst days.
What I also don't enjoy is when something small happens that doesn't throw off your routine, but plays in the back of your mind like a rock in the bottom of your shoe. You know it's there, but you just can't be bothered to remove it. So I woke this morning, following my usual routine. When I got to the point where I pee, I turned around, and let it flow. I would say my usual morning pee-time is anything from 15 to 25 seconds. Today was just one of those rock days. 15 seconds came, and went, and I was still going. Then 20. Then 25. Then 30, Then 40. At about 45, pressure started to balance out, and I had to start forcing. I wasn't done. Granted, with the lack of water pressure and the obvious over-expansion and probable stretching of my bladder, I really had to work it. I started and stopped for a good 30 seconds longer until I realized nothing else was coming out. I still wasn't done. I got into the shower, continued my routine, and after I got dressed, I realized my bladder had retracted to its normal size and I needed to pee again. So, back to the bathroom I went, and let the rest out.
I'm still angry about it. Any other point in the day and I'm fine with change. In fact, I welcome it. But stay away from my mornings... unless you are a beautiful woman offering sex. Then I may be willing to make an exception. Only maybe.
Sound similar to your morning?
Despite how much I hate routines, being a person who prefers to have a bit of spice in his life, I get incredibly angry when my morning routine is broken. For example, when I hit "off" instead of "snooze" and go right back to sleep. Then I wake up with that "oh shit, I'm late!" feeling, and don't have time to shower or pee or something like that. Those are the worst days.
What I also don't enjoy is when something small happens that doesn't throw off your routine, but plays in the back of your mind like a rock in the bottom of your shoe. You know it's there, but you just can't be bothered to remove it. So I woke this morning, following my usual routine. When I got to the point where I pee, I turned around, and let it flow. I would say my usual morning pee-time is anything from 15 to 25 seconds. Today was just one of those rock days. 15 seconds came, and went, and I was still going. Then 20. Then 25. Then 30, Then 40. At about 45, pressure started to balance out, and I had to start forcing. I wasn't done. Granted, with the lack of water pressure and the obvious over-expansion and probable stretching of my bladder, I really had to work it. I started and stopped for a good 30 seconds longer until I realized nothing else was coming out. I still wasn't done. I got into the shower, continued my routine, and after I got dressed, I realized my bladder had retracted to its normal size and I needed to pee again. So, back to the bathroom I went, and let the rest out.
I'm still angry about it. Any other point in the day and I'm fine with change. In fact, I welcome it. But stay away from my mornings... unless you are a beautiful woman offering sex. Then I may be willing to make an exception. Only maybe.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Sir James
I've always thought it would be cool to be a knight. To be honest, I've never been much of a fan of warfare, but the idea of being a knight is just so inviting. It's not that I don't appreciate war. I realize that in some situations, it is the only acceptable course of action. It's part of human nature. I'm just saying I wouldn't want to be the one who does the fighting. It took me a while to realize why I felt this way, but after much internal debate, I came to the conclusion that the only reason I don't want to fight in any modern war is that the honour is completely lost in battle today. Guns let you kill your enemy from a mile away, bombs let you destroy hundreds at once, tanks keep you shielded away in an environment that lets you withstand an atomic blast. It just seems so... impersonal.
Knighthood, however. Now that's something I could be a part of. There was real honour in that. Every fight took place face to face. Sword to sword. You faced your opponent, looking upon exactly what you had to challenge, and then you battled. That's how things should be. Not being blown up as you walk down the road by an IED. I'm sorry, but that's just not my game.
There's no point beating around the bush. I'm just trying to make you want to be one too. Really, all it boils down to for me is this: Sir James Richard Mitchener. Doesn't that sound beautiful? Read it again.
Sir James Richard Mitchener
I know, you are jealous. You are thinking about changing your name just so when you become knighted, you'll be Sir James Richard Mitchener too. Don't feel bad, you can't win them all. It just so happens I've won this one. You'll have your chance, another day. Not today though.
The perks to being a knight don't stop there. If it weren't enough to be a "Sir" and to fight with honour, this is just totally going to push you over the edge. If you are a knight, you get a squire! Your only personal assistant to follow you around and dress you in your armour and carry your coat of arms on a flag! How great is that?! He even prepares your horse, and calls upon fine ladies for you to court! I see absolutely no drawback here! Well, I suppose the poor sanitation is one, but I think I'd be willing to suffer through it to be a knight.
I could go for any slice of this cake, couldn't you?
Knighthood, however. Now that's something I could be a part of. There was real honour in that. Every fight took place face to face. Sword to sword. You faced your opponent, looking upon exactly what you had to challenge, and then you battled. That's how things should be. Not being blown up as you walk down the road by an IED. I'm sorry, but that's just not my game.
There's no point beating around the bush. I'm just trying to make you want to be one too. Really, all it boils down to for me is this: Sir James Richard Mitchener. Doesn't that sound beautiful? Read it again.
Sir James Richard Mitchener
I know, you are jealous. You are thinking about changing your name just so when you become knighted, you'll be Sir James Richard Mitchener too. Don't feel bad, you can't win them all. It just so happens I've won this one. You'll have your chance, another day. Not today though.
The perks to being a knight don't stop there. If it weren't enough to be a "Sir" and to fight with honour, this is just totally going to push you over the edge. If you are a knight, you get a squire! Your only personal assistant to follow you around and dress you in your armour and carry your coat of arms on a flag! How great is that?! He even prepares your horse, and calls upon fine ladies for you to court! I see absolutely no drawback here! Well, I suppose the poor sanitation is one, but I think I'd be willing to suffer through it to be a knight.
I could go for any slice of this cake, couldn't you?
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Moral Compass
Today is a day of fun questions from me to you. This is a game, so don't feel bad about your answers. No one is judging you, except yourself... and anyone else you may talk to about this... and me. I'm always judging you. But, still, let's play! Here we are going to put your Moral Compass to the test. It's okay if you can't come to a definate decision, or if you find yourself changing your mind at a later time. I am going to try and be the magnet that will distort your compass' reading. What fun!
Imagine that there was a cure for heart disease, the number one killer of Americans. But, in order to harvest enough of this cure for 1,000 people, we would have to kill one Adult. Now, this Adult would be homeless, familyless, and jobless. They in no way would contribute to society. Their death would, however, mean saving the lives of 1,000 other people who may have families, may be raising children, may be hard workers, and may be constant contributors to charities across the world.
Would you do it?
If you said no, then the game is over for you. Keep reading anyhow, because I have a feeling you may change your mind later. Let's push the button, shall we? What if it was only for 500 cures? Would you do it then? What about for 100? Or 50? Where would your cutoff be?
Lets assume then that the chips are stacked in order of societal value. That homeless, jobless, anti-family individual would provide enough heart disease cure for 25 individuals. A person with a low paying job living in a hostel would provide 50 cures. A person with a small home, a spouse, and a low income job would provide 200 cures. And a well paid individual who donates 60% of their paycheck to charity and helps get babies off the streets while looking after their 12 adopted children from third world countries would provide 10,000 cures. Would the ends justify the means? Which of these would you kill to save the lives of their specified number?
Would you kill them if the cure wasn't targeted just to heart disease? What if it cured anything? Would you do away with these people then?
Think about it. You may have to make this decision one day. I'm just preparing you.
Imagine that there was a cure for heart disease, the number one killer of Americans. But, in order to harvest enough of this cure for 1,000 people, we would have to kill one Adult. Now, this Adult would be homeless, familyless, and jobless. They in no way would contribute to society. Their death would, however, mean saving the lives of 1,000 other people who may have families, may be raising children, may be hard workers, and may be constant contributors to charities across the world.
Would you do it?
If you said no, then the game is over for you. Keep reading anyhow, because I have a feeling you may change your mind later. Let's push the button, shall we? What if it was only for 500 cures? Would you do it then? What about for 100? Or 50? Where would your cutoff be?
Lets assume then that the chips are stacked in order of societal value. That homeless, jobless, anti-family individual would provide enough heart disease cure for 25 individuals. A person with a low paying job living in a hostel would provide 50 cures. A person with a small home, a spouse, and a low income job would provide 200 cures. And a well paid individual who donates 60% of their paycheck to charity and helps get babies off the streets while looking after their 12 adopted children from third world countries would provide 10,000 cures. Would the ends justify the means? Which of these would you kill to save the lives of their specified number?
Would you kill them if the cure wasn't targeted just to heart disease? What if it cured anything? Would you do away with these people then?
Think about it. You may have to make this decision one day. I'm just preparing you.
Monday, June 11, 2007
The End of the Tube
I was brushing my teeth this morning, which usually is a routine I enjoy immensely. Today, however, was the "end of the tube" day. For those of you who aren't adamant teeth cleaners, let me explain. When your tube reaches the point where around 20% of the original amount is left, you have reached the end of the tube. I realize that yes, there is more toothpaste in the tube, but as far as the ability to get to it goes, you are at the end of the tube.
When I brush, I usually put toothpaste on my toothbrush at least three times during a single brushing experience. Today, I was hindered. See, somewhere along the line of creating toothpaste, someone came up with the most frustrating and messy way to apply it to a toothbrush. For further reasons which I simply don't understand, almost every toothpaste company has adopted this terrible toothpaste tubing technique. By the end of the tube, there's always a rim of toothpaste around the lid, the toothpaste is so spread across the tube it's impossible to get out, and for some reason it seems like all the minty flavor is gone. That last one baffles me. How does that happen?
Back to my story. I managed to gather enough toothpaste at the end of the tube to apply one serving on my toothbrush. I brushed, and brushed, and spat, and spat, and then tried to apply round two. Nothing. This is the mystery of the current toothpaste tube. When 21% of the toothpaste is left, you have no problem getting it out. At 20%, it becomes difficult. At 19%, it is almost impossible. It's obvious there's more in there, but I'd be damned if anyone can get it out without spending five minutes working the tube.
I don't have time for that. It's morning. I'm tired.
I used up the rest of my mouthwash and went to class to take an exam. The second I got out, I went to Wal Mart and bought more toothpaste. I don't like wasting things, but beyond the 20% threshold, I'm willing to make an exception.
When I brush, I usually put toothpaste on my toothbrush at least three times during a single brushing experience. Today, I was hindered. See, somewhere along the line of creating toothpaste, someone came up with the most frustrating and messy way to apply it to a toothbrush. For further reasons which I simply don't understand, almost every toothpaste company has adopted this terrible toothpaste tubing technique. By the end of the tube, there's always a rim of toothpaste around the lid, the toothpaste is so spread across the tube it's impossible to get out, and for some reason it seems like all the minty flavor is gone. That last one baffles me. How does that happen?
Back to my story. I managed to gather enough toothpaste at the end of the tube to apply one serving on my toothbrush. I brushed, and brushed, and spat, and spat, and then tried to apply round two. Nothing. This is the mystery of the current toothpaste tube. When 21% of the toothpaste is left, you have no problem getting it out. At 20%, it becomes difficult. At 19%, it is almost impossible. It's obvious there's more in there, but I'd be damned if anyone can get it out without spending five minutes working the tube.
I don't have time for that. It's morning. I'm tired.
I used up the rest of my mouthwash and went to class to take an exam. The second I got out, I went to Wal Mart and bought more toothpaste. I don't like wasting things, but beyond the 20% threshold, I'm willing to make an exception.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Lazy Sunday
I think the Bible interpreted Sunday's all wrong. Apparently, we get the day off because it is a "day of rest". I disagree.
Let's look at the big picture here. The story goes as follows: God created the universe in six days and took the seventh off to rest from his big week of creating everything. So now, Christians everywhere (and most everyone else) take Sunday off from work in order to relax. I don't think it should be on a Sunday.
God created the Universe. The Universe. Are you getting this? The Universe. Can you even get your mind around how big that thing is?! And what makes it even more insane, he made it in six freaking days! I don't even believe in the guy, but boy do I respect him for that. Just think for a second about what you can make in six days. Can you make anything even 1/1000000000000 the importance of the Universe? If you said yes, you are either very full of yourself, very stupid, or you are God. I doubt it's the latter. Here's a list of things I can do in seven days.
Write a short story, create seven blogs, read a book or two, watch seven or so hours of TV, dig a hole, pitch a tent and camp in it, go to class, learn some new information...
I'm sorry, but I'm looking this list over, and I don't see anything even remotely close to creating a Universe. I just can't bring myself to relax on Sundays with this weighing down on my mind. I mean, God can create everything, and I'm sitting here getting a quarter of the way through a course of antibiotics!
Sunday should not be a rest day. We have in no way earned it. Next time you create a Universe, you can take Sunday off, but until then- get back to work!
Let's look at the big picture here. The story goes as follows: God created the universe in six days and took the seventh off to rest from his big week of creating everything. So now, Christians everywhere (and most everyone else) take Sunday off from work in order to relax. I don't think it should be on a Sunday.
God created the Universe. The Universe. Are you getting this? The Universe. Can you even get your mind around how big that thing is?! And what makes it even more insane, he made it in six freaking days! I don't even believe in the guy, but boy do I respect him for that. Just think for a second about what you can make in six days. Can you make anything even 1/1000000000000 the importance of the Universe? If you said yes, you are either very full of yourself, very stupid, or you are God. I doubt it's the latter. Here's a list of things I can do in seven days.
Write a short story, create seven blogs, read a book or two, watch seven or so hours of TV, dig a hole, pitch a tent and camp in it, go to class, learn some new information...
I'm sorry, but I'm looking this list over, and I don't see anything even remotely close to creating a Universe. I just can't bring myself to relax on Sundays with this weighing down on my mind. I mean, God can create everything, and I'm sitting here getting a quarter of the way through a course of antibiotics!
Sunday should not be a rest day. We have in no way earned it. Next time you create a Universe, you can take Sunday off, but until then- get back to work!
Saturday, June 9, 2007
God Loves You If...
It's only fair to counter yesterday's piece with one pointing out the complete opposite; a list of things that just prove that God loves you. These are also fairly common, and not like winning the lottery or free falling one hundred stories and surviving. These are very similar to those of yesterdays post. They happen to almost everyone, at least once, and usually a lot more often than that.
First is when you get away with a lie that you know you shouldn't have gotten away with. For example, you are planning your best friend's surprise party and they ask you where you were, and you say "I was... uhm, out... shopping... and this HUGE meteor hit the ground in front of me, and I narrowly escaped death!" and they say to you "You were there?! I heard about that just this morning! Oh my God, I can't believe you were there!"
Another is, in contrast to yesterdays, when you suddenly feel the urge to relieve yourself, and you enter the public restrooms and discover the most uncommon thing; they have just been cleaned.
This is one of my favourites. When you get done doing all your grocery shopping and all the isles are full, and your wait will be at least twenty more minutes, and then someone opens up the lane next to you and says "Over here Sir/Madame."
The final and most important: Any and all orgasmic related events.
See, God doesn't always hate you. But he usually does, so I'd take advantage of any of these good moments before they pass you by.
First is when you get away with a lie that you know you shouldn't have gotten away with. For example, you are planning your best friend's surprise party and they ask you where you were, and you say "I was... uhm, out... shopping... and this HUGE meteor hit the ground in front of me, and I narrowly escaped death!" and they say to you "You were there?! I heard about that just this morning! Oh my God, I can't believe you were there!"
Another is, in contrast to yesterdays, when you suddenly feel the urge to relieve yourself, and you enter the public restrooms and discover the most uncommon thing; they have just been cleaned.
This is one of my favourites. When you get done doing all your grocery shopping and all the isles are full, and your wait will be at least twenty more minutes, and then someone opens up the lane next to you and says "Over here Sir/Madame."
The final and most important: Any and all orgasmic related events.
See, God doesn't always hate you. But he usually does, so I'd take advantage of any of these good moments before they pass you by.
Friday, June 8, 2007
God Hates You If...
There are just some feelings in this world that make you say to yourself: "Wow, God must hate me." These aren't the uncommon feelings like having both your legs amputated, or getting into an unarmed battle of the fittest with a bear. No, these are those feelings that happen just often enough to make you question everything you believe in. What makes them worse is that everyone experiences them at some point. They happen every day, to a number of people, and yet they still make you think "God must hate me".
One of the worst is when you need to poop, and there is no toilet anywhere around you. You sit there, knowing full and well you must quench those cheeks together as tight as you can, but the entire time your body is saying "we're doing this, NOW!"
It doesn't stop there. Headaches are another one of those feelings. They happen to everyone, and yet you did nothing wrong in order to get it (unless you got crazy drunk and didn't have enough water). You are unable to move, unable to think, unable to sneeze all because you know that if you do, you're head is going to split in two.
Probably one of the most stressful is realizing you don't have as much money in your bank account as you thought. I used to have this problem until I started keeping track of every transaction, but still, it's infuriating when you miss a day and realize you have 100 dollars less than you should.
The final is Reality TV. And by extension, the fact that TV now provides almost 1000 channels for you to watch, and yet it is almost guaranteed that unless it's prime time, there is nothing on any of them. Reality TV- that's just a given. I watch reality every day, I don't need to sit down and watch what stupid people are doing on my TV.
There are many many more things in this world that makes any individual question God's love for them. Not believing he exists doesn't help. What makes you shake your fist at the heavens?
One of the worst is when you need to poop, and there is no toilet anywhere around you. You sit there, knowing full and well you must quench those cheeks together as tight as you can, but the entire time your body is saying "we're doing this, NOW!"
It doesn't stop there. Headaches are another one of those feelings. They happen to everyone, and yet you did nothing wrong in order to get it (unless you got crazy drunk and didn't have enough water). You are unable to move, unable to think, unable to sneeze all because you know that if you do, you're head is going to split in two.
Probably one of the most stressful is realizing you don't have as much money in your bank account as you thought. I used to have this problem until I started keeping track of every transaction, but still, it's infuriating when you miss a day and realize you have 100 dollars less than you should.
The final is Reality TV. And by extension, the fact that TV now provides almost 1000 channels for you to watch, and yet it is almost guaranteed that unless it's prime time, there is nothing on any of them. Reality TV- that's just a given. I watch reality every day, I don't need to sit down and watch what stupid people are doing on my TV.
There are many many more things in this world that makes any individual question God's love for them. Not believing he exists doesn't help. What makes you shake your fist at the heavens?
Broken Beauty
Life is so much more beautiful when it's broken. Not completely shattered, though there are times when despair has its moments of perfection, but I would say that when life is taking its toll on an individual, it has the tendency to be the most beautiful.
Think about it. People read romance because of how it makes them feel inside. When is that pivotal moment in which the person feels strongest for the character? When they are confronted with losing everything. When that fracture of damage is done, and one wrong move could push them to the brink of losing everything; but they don't. It's in that one moment that every readers thinks "this is so sad that it's perfect."
Life has a tendency to be the same way. I hate feeling alone, depressed, or as if I'm going to lose something that I love. But it's in that moment that the true beauty of my life comes out. It's there that I can see, without the slightest bit of doubt, the beauty that runs through my commitment.
I suppose in some sense, I'm not as pessimistic as I thought. There must be some optimism in me, to see the beauty of the worst moments of my life, and still find the strength to force out a smile. Even if it's just a small one.
Think about it. People read romance because of how it makes them feel inside. When is that pivotal moment in which the person feels strongest for the character? When they are confronted with losing everything. When that fracture of damage is done, and one wrong move could push them to the brink of losing everything; but they don't. It's in that one moment that every readers thinks "this is so sad that it's perfect."
Life has a tendency to be the same way. I hate feeling alone, depressed, or as if I'm going to lose something that I love. But it's in that moment that the true beauty of my life comes out. It's there that I can see, without the slightest bit of doubt, the beauty that runs through my commitment.
I suppose in some sense, I'm not as pessimistic as I thought. There must be some optimism in me, to see the beauty of the worst moments of my life, and still find the strength to force out a smile. Even if it's just a small one.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Rocks
Back when we were arguing over Plate Tectonics and its validity, there was much discussion about rocks and how they have moved over the years. There were many cases in which people pointed out that rocks in Northern Canada are exactly the same as rocks found in, Ireland, for example. I have this terrible day-dreaming problem, and when I was listening to my professor talk about these moving rocks, I couldn't help but let my mind run away with its self.
Moving rocks... Walking rocks... What if rocks had legs? How cool would that be?! Yea, exactly. The Pet Rock wouldn't be so stupid then, would it! Granted, gardening would be difficult if all your garden rocks up and walked away if they got bored, but hey, they are rocks. I bet they could spend a real long time sitting and doing nothing. After all, they are millions of years old! A human lifetime probably passes them by in a heartbeat.
Still, it would be cool to have a pet rock that walked around. They would probably walk very very slowly though. I mean, it's a rock, you can't ask it to be a speed demon when all its life it has been sitting around doing nothing. But then, on the other side of the coin, it has a lot of lost time to make up for. Maybe they would be fast. Maybe we would slow them down.
Crimes would be easier too. If you could throw a rock at a car, or through a window, and then it would get up and walk away... Just think of the possibilities here. Walking pet weapons. You can't just pick up your puppy and throw it at someone because you are angry, but a rock! Oh, what a world it would be!
Rocks are cool today, just as they are, but walking rocks- now there's a future I look forward to.
Moving rocks... Walking rocks... What if rocks had legs? How cool would that be?! Yea, exactly. The Pet Rock wouldn't be so stupid then, would it! Granted, gardening would be difficult if all your garden rocks up and walked away if they got bored, but hey, they are rocks. I bet they could spend a real long time sitting and doing nothing. After all, they are millions of years old! A human lifetime probably passes them by in a heartbeat.
Still, it would be cool to have a pet rock that walked around. They would probably walk very very slowly though. I mean, it's a rock, you can't ask it to be a speed demon when all its life it has been sitting around doing nothing. But then, on the other side of the coin, it has a lot of lost time to make up for. Maybe they would be fast. Maybe we would slow them down.
Crimes would be easier too. If you could throw a rock at a car, or through a window, and then it would get up and walk away... Just think of the possibilities here. Walking pet weapons. You can't just pick up your puppy and throw it at someone because you are angry, but a rock! Oh, what a world it would be!
Rocks are cool today, just as they are, but walking rocks- now there's a future I look forward to.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Avoidance
People have this odd tendency to avoid situations that will challenge them. It seems to be an epidemic. It makes sense to avoid potentially dangerous or stressful situations, but why challenging? People have the strangest of habits. The idea of avoiding a challenge makes me sad. Challenges are fun.
I shouldn't speak about avoidance so "willy-nilly". I have my moments where I simply don't want to deal with anything, and I suppose on that level, I can relate to you anti-challenge people. There is one problem, however. I don't think, even as I try to relate, I could ever just avoid challenge. In fact, the one thing I actually try to avoid on a regular basis causes the greatest challenge of all. I try to avoid myself.
It's a difficult and time consuming task, trying to avoid yourself. If you are thinking "that's stupid," you are obviously an ignorant fool, but I have a thing against ignorance and so I will walk the road of the wise and enlighten you on the truth of avoiding yourself. First, you have to get very angry at you. I do this by ignoring myself. Me hates being ignored. If I have a good idea, I immediately suppress it. I'm not even going to listen. Then, I do things I don't want to do. For example, if I'm tired, I might go for a jog. If I want to read, I might watch TV. If I'm procrastinating, I'll do some work. I tend to do this until I'm so furious I feel I'm going to explode in a blind fit of rage. Then I do it some more. By this point, I'm so pissed off at me that I just stop believing I'm part of myself. I just stop caring. The angry part drifts off into my mind, and the other part goes ahead and does whatever it wants. Then, the two halves of me, the mental and the physical, meet back up when they have cooled down, and we are friends again. But, in that gap of time when we are ignoring each other, however long it lasts, I have completely avoided myself. It's wonderful.
Give it a shot. But I warn you, you have to be a little crazy for it to work. But then, I'm a firm believer in everyone is at least a little bit crazy, and if you don't agree, then you are probably one of the most crazy of all of us.
I shouldn't speak about avoidance so "willy-nilly". I have my moments where I simply don't want to deal with anything, and I suppose on that level, I can relate to you anti-challenge people. There is one problem, however. I don't think, even as I try to relate, I could ever just avoid challenge. In fact, the one thing I actually try to avoid on a regular basis causes the greatest challenge of all. I try to avoid myself.
It's a difficult and time consuming task, trying to avoid yourself. If you are thinking "that's stupid," you are obviously an ignorant fool, but I have a thing against ignorance and so I will walk the road of the wise and enlighten you on the truth of avoiding yourself. First, you have to get very angry at you. I do this by ignoring myself. Me hates being ignored. If I have a good idea, I immediately suppress it. I'm not even going to listen. Then, I do things I don't want to do. For example, if I'm tired, I might go for a jog. If I want to read, I might watch TV. If I'm procrastinating, I'll do some work. I tend to do this until I'm so furious I feel I'm going to explode in a blind fit of rage. Then I do it some more. By this point, I'm so pissed off at me that I just stop believing I'm part of myself. I just stop caring. The angry part drifts off into my mind, and the other part goes ahead and does whatever it wants. Then, the two halves of me, the mental and the physical, meet back up when they have cooled down, and we are friends again. But, in that gap of time when we are ignoring each other, however long it lasts, I have completely avoided myself. It's wonderful.
Give it a shot. But I warn you, you have to be a little crazy for it to work. But then, I'm a firm believer in everyone is at least a little bit crazy, and if you don't agree, then you are probably one of the most crazy of all of us.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Rain
Today will be my first serious post. I'm sorry to any who I disappoint by writing in such a manor, but I have something on my mind, and so I am going to share it with all of you. Last night, it rained from midnight until six this morning. At around two thirty, I went outside to do nothing but stand and let the drops run down my face and soak my cloths.
There is no natural occurrence in this world more perfect than rain. It is beautiful in all its forms, from the gentle feeling of each droplet as it hits your skin to the sound of it pattering outside a closed window. It is mysteriously romantic, making even the most plain of kisses more beautiful, the most simple of walks more breathtaking.
I hold the rain very close to my heart. I have fond memories of times spent in it with a woman I love. But know that long before even this, the rain has always captivated me. I have loved it since before I can remember, and I hope that I love it forever. If there is a god, in any shape size or form, then the rain is the one thing he created that I have nothing bad to say about. If there is no god, then millions of years of building an ecosystem has lead to this one climactic point, and I am shocked that something so perfectly beautiful can occur so naturally.
Thank you, to memories of rain on cold nights, to the feeling of droplets on my skin, and to the sound of peacefulness that accompanies a quiet storm.
There is no natural occurrence in this world more perfect than rain. It is beautiful in all its forms, from the gentle feeling of each droplet as it hits your skin to the sound of it pattering outside a closed window. It is mysteriously romantic, making even the most plain of kisses more beautiful, the most simple of walks more breathtaking.
I hold the rain very close to my heart. I have fond memories of times spent in it with a woman I love. But know that long before even this, the rain has always captivated me. I have loved it since before I can remember, and I hope that I love it forever. If there is a god, in any shape size or form, then the rain is the one thing he created that I have nothing bad to say about. If there is no god, then millions of years of building an ecosystem has lead to this one climactic point, and I am shocked that something so perfectly beautiful can occur so naturally.
Thank you, to memories of rain on cold nights, to the feeling of droplets on my skin, and to the sound of peacefulness that accompanies a quiet storm.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Nothing
Today, I am writing about nothing. Seems strange of me, doesn't it, seeing as every other post I have written oddly points in that direction anyways. But, today, things are different. Today, I am declaring nothing before I even begin coming up with ideas. So, from the moment onwards, I am writing on the spot, deleting nothing and adding in nothing. It really is going to be about... nothing.
I don't talk to people that often about things that actually matter, and I consider the nothing that floats in my mind to be incredibly important. Therefor, I don't really talk about it that much. Still, I have noticed that my nothing is usually quite different to other people's nothing. In fact, my most recent girlfriend used to get rather frustrated with me when she asked what I did today, and I responded "nothing." To her, nothing was a waste of time. Nothing meant I did... well, I did nothing. Sadly, that was one of our greatest miscommunications. Let me explain.
My nothing involves many things that are actually something. In fact, it's so many somethings put together that it really does accomplish next to nothing, which I think is why I call it nothing. Sometimes, a something sneaks through. I credit these to anything I consider an amazing idea, usually for a book or a part of a book I'm already writing, but sometimes it's just a thought like my ideas of space (I'll share those later). But, the most important thing to note is this: my greatest ideas, the ones I act on and am proud of, sneak into my mind when I'm consciously doing nothing. I guess that's why I'm never upset with doing nothing. It's my working space.
For me, nothing is something. Ironic, I think a something leaked through all the nothing and created this post. I love the unconscious mind. It has such an attitude.
I don't talk to people that often about things that actually matter, and I consider the nothing that floats in my mind to be incredibly important. Therefor, I don't really talk about it that much. Still, I have noticed that my nothing is usually quite different to other people's nothing. In fact, my most recent girlfriend used to get rather frustrated with me when she asked what I did today, and I responded "nothing." To her, nothing was a waste of time. Nothing meant I did... well, I did nothing. Sadly, that was one of our greatest miscommunications. Let me explain.
My nothing involves many things that are actually something. In fact, it's so many somethings put together that it really does accomplish next to nothing, which I think is why I call it nothing. Sometimes, a something sneaks through. I credit these to anything I consider an amazing idea, usually for a book or a part of a book I'm already writing, but sometimes it's just a thought like my ideas of space (I'll share those later). But, the most important thing to note is this: my greatest ideas, the ones I act on and am proud of, sneak into my mind when I'm consciously doing nothing. I guess that's why I'm never upset with doing nothing. It's my working space.
For me, nothing is something. Ironic, I think a something leaked through all the nothing and created this post. I love the unconscious mind. It has such an attitude.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Tick, Tock, Tick...
When was it we decided to live our lives by the clock? Honestly, it has to be the most restraining thing we have created. Life must have been better when we judged time based on the movements of the sun. Who could be mad if you were late to "half-past big cloud" or "quarter to thunder"? Granted, it was probably a lot tougher to deal with, but honestly, how would you know if it wasn't you that's early and they are on time?
I'm not a fan of time. In all aspects, I don't like it. It makes me feel old, it makes me feel like I'm wasting my day, it makes me get up when I don't want to, and go to bed when I don't feel like it. It bugs me. Day and night, now I'm good with that, but 13:12, 21:59, 2:31, and all other time's in the 24 hour day just bug me.
I also don't like the expression "It will take time." I know it will take time, but guess what, I don't really have much of it. I have about 80 years if I'm lucky, and I don't want to waste it waiting for whatever it is to pass or come. Time, I hate you.
Immortality would be great. It completely negates the need for time. Doctors, get to work on medical immortality! Explorers, find the fountain of youth! Time is ticking!
I'm not a fan of time. In all aspects, I don't like it. It makes me feel old, it makes me feel like I'm wasting my day, it makes me get up when I don't want to, and go to bed when I don't feel like it. It bugs me. Day and night, now I'm good with that, but 13:12, 21:59, 2:31, and all other time's in the 24 hour day just bug me.
I also don't like the expression "It will take time." I know it will take time, but guess what, I don't really have much of it. I have about 80 years if I'm lucky, and I don't want to waste it waiting for whatever it is to pass or come. Time, I hate you.
Immortality would be great. It completely negates the need for time. Doctors, get to work on medical immortality! Explorers, find the fountain of youth! Time is ticking!
Friday, June 1, 2007
1 New Voicemail
I love mobile phones. Everything about them, from convenience to brain tumors, only strengthens my unyielding love towards them. I don't even have a home phone anymore. In fact, I haven't had a house phone for almost seven years. What's the point? A mobile is my home phone, and seeing as I spend so little time at my place of residence, it seems rather pointless to pay fifty dollars extra a month for a phone I'll never use.
Still, despite my love for mobile (or cell) phones, there is one thing that just pisses me off. Really, it's not the phone's fault, but the person who calls me. I can't stand it when I see the words "1 New Voicemail" across my home screen. Now, there are exceptions, as with every rule, but for the focal point of my argument, I hate those words and never want to see them. Very rarely does anyone have anything important enough to say to leave a voicemail. Usually, all you get is this: "Uh, yea, it's me, call me back." Do you realize how much time you just wasted making me listen to that? Do you not realize every single cell phone comes with a "1 missed call" function that tells the receiver exactly who called, when, and what number was used? I don't need you to leave me a message saying "call me back"! My phone already told me to that!
If you have something important to say, fine, leave a message, if not, let my phone do its job. I don't want it to get lazy and think it doesn't have to tell me I missed a call because you left a message. I hate lazy phones. Don't make mine become one.
Still, despite my love for mobile (or cell) phones, there is one thing that just pisses me off. Really, it's not the phone's fault, but the person who calls me. I can't stand it when I see the words "1 New Voicemail" across my home screen. Now, there are exceptions, as with every rule, but for the focal point of my argument, I hate those words and never want to see them. Very rarely does anyone have anything important enough to say to leave a voicemail. Usually, all you get is this: "Uh, yea, it's me, call me back." Do you realize how much time you just wasted making me listen to that? Do you not realize every single cell phone comes with a "1 missed call" function that tells the receiver exactly who called, when, and what number was used? I don't need you to leave me a message saying "call me back"! My phone already told me to that!
If you have something important to say, fine, leave a message, if not, let my phone do its job. I don't want it to get lazy and think it doesn't have to tell me I missed a call because you left a message. I hate lazy phones. Don't make mine become one.
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