As everyone knows, the Olympics are on. It's strange though, because this time people are actually watching them. I don't know if it was because they were held in the southern hemisphere four years ago, but no one above the equator seemed bothered to tune in. The viewing audience consisted of those third world countries that have a TV/Person ratio of 1:28319, and Australia. This year, however, people are pulling up chairs and watching the Olympics. It's on almost everywhere you go, and on multiple televisions. I suppose it's because of this that I have some questions to ask:
What are the American girls doing? I saw a 21 year old woman doing gymnastics! People shouldn't be competing in gymnastics if they are over 17, and I'm being generous. That 21 year old fell off the balance beam, and then ass planted on her next event also! She's killing the team!
China has the right idea though. Their girls are all below the age of 12. I'm sorry, but China, you aren't fooling anyone. We know their passports say they are 16, and can legally compete in the Olympics, but you also have to remember that we know you are China. We know you have no qualms with cheating. We also know what a girl looks like when she's 8 and not 16. Surprisingly, there's quite a difference. You may be wrapped up in the stereotype that we think you all look alike, but we aren't that stupid! If I can tell the difference between a 4 month puppy and a 6 month puppy, I'm pretty sure I know that a human being is between the age bracket of 8-12 instead of 15-17. That's not a hard thing to figure out.
But hey, you're China, you can do what you want. When the Olympics are being held in London, we'll see how many 12 year old girls you'll be competing with!
...Probably a lot. England doesn't like confrontation with foreigners anymore.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
San Antonio's Number One
It rained here today. For those who are avid readers, you know that to me, that's a wonderful thing. I love the rain entirely, with absolutely nothing bad to say about it. Yet, with all things perfect, people always try to find a way to ruin it. Especially in good old San Antonio.
The truth is that San Antonio is statistically the most dangerous place in America to own a car. Everywhere else I've lived, I have probably seen about two or three accidents a year. All those times, I had never once actually see someone hit another person. In the three years I have lived in San Antonio, I have seen over several hundred. To put it simply, if there is a rainstorm and I haven't seen at least three separate collisions by the time I have reached my destination, I consider it a safe day.
Today, during a drive that lasted me seven minutes, I saw six. Ironically, I actually saw two of them happen. It is in times like that that I truly know just how stupid some people are. Both of those accidents could have been avoided if the drivers would just drive like intelligent people. The sad thing is that people simply aren't intelligent. Both of the accidents happened the same way. Two cars were speeding off into the rain doing about 75mph down the two-lane freeway that takes me to school. The rain was too thick, there was too much on the road, and as the car started driving up the hill where the thickest layer of moving water was concentrated, he hydroplaned and drove straight off into another car. The best part, right after accident one happened, the car behind him saw it happen, swerved around, and got into accident two right at the bottom of the next hill.
San Antonio drivers are just terrible.
The truth is that San Antonio is statistically the most dangerous place in America to own a car. Everywhere else I've lived, I have probably seen about two or three accidents a year. All those times, I had never once actually see someone hit another person. In the three years I have lived in San Antonio, I have seen over several hundred. To put it simply, if there is a rainstorm and I haven't seen at least three separate collisions by the time I have reached my destination, I consider it a safe day.
Today, during a drive that lasted me seven minutes, I saw six. Ironically, I actually saw two of them happen. It is in times like that that I truly know just how stupid some people are. Both of those accidents could have been avoided if the drivers would just drive like intelligent people. The sad thing is that people simply aren't intelligent. Both of the accidents happened the same way. Two cars were speeding off into the rain doing about 75mph down the two-lane freeway that takes me to school. The rain was too thick, there was too much on the road, and as the car started driving up the hill where the thickest layer of moving water was concentrated, he hydroplaned and drove straight off into another car. The best part, right after accident one happened, the car behind him saw it happen, swerved around, and got into accident two right at the bottom of the next hill.
San Antonio drivers are just terrible.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Admitting Defeat
It's hard for most people to admit they are wrong. Luckily for me, I exist to you in a world where I am never wrong, so it's not an issue for me, but for those less fortunate than myself, there will always come a time when that person must admit that they were wrong. The nice thing to do is to sit back and let them admit it while you keep your peace.
I do it the other way. I much prefer to, when someone admits they are wrong, rub it in their face for as long as I possibly can. When you do this, most people will respond in the same classic fashion. First, they will try to take back what they said. Then, when they realize they can't, they will try to shift the blame onto you somehow. It's like watching a fish out of water, struggling for some of that delicious H2O and not being able to find it. It's pathetic, sad, and at the same time oddly amusing.
I did this the other day with one of my girlfriend's friends. He was talking trying to sound smart, as most people do when they are around people they don't know, and he said something about how every life was valuable and no one should be killed ever. So naturally i jumped to the extreme end of the statement and asked him if he would kill Castro or Kim Jong-il if he bumped into them in a private location with no one around. Naturally, he stuttered and admitted he would gladly shoot them without any remorse. So, I spent the next twenty minutes making him admit who else he would kill. Apparently, he doesn't have much value for human life, and I'll tell you what, after that huge spiel I put him through, I bet you I'm on the rapidly growing list of people he would kill.
When people are wrong, it's great. Enjoy it. It's fun to poke at stupidity.
I do it the other way. I much prefer to, when someone admits they are wrong, rub it in their face for as long as I possibly can. When you do this, most people will respond in the same classic fashion. First, they will try to take back what they said. Then, when they realize they can't, they will try to shift the blame onto you somehow. It's like watching a fish out of water, struggling for some of that delicious H2O and not being able to find it. It's pathetic, sad, and at the same time oddly amusing.
I did this the other day with one of my girlfriend's friends. He was talking trying to sound smart, as most people do when they are around people they don't know, and he said something about how every life was valuable and no one should be killed ever. So naturally i jumped to the extreme end of the statement and asked him if he would kill Castro or Kim Jong-il if he bumped into them in a private location with no one around. Naturally, he stuttered and admitted he would gladly shoot them without any remorse. So, I spent the next twenty minutes making him admit who else he would kill. Apparently, he doesn't have much value for human life, and I'll tell you what, after that huge spiel I put him through, I bet you I'm on the rapidly growing list of people he would kill.
When people are wrong, it's great. Enjoy it. It's fun to poke at stupidity.
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