Morning Routine

Everything is about routine in the mornings. There is nothing about waking up before school or work that isn't entirely based on routine. For me, it's as follows. Get up, hit alarm, go into bathroom, turn on shower, pee, get in shower, clean, get out shower, dry off, put on underwear, brush teeth three times, deodorize, put on the rest of my cloths, eat breakfast, have a yakult, find my backpack, leave apartment.

Sound similar to your morning?

Despite how much I hate routines, being a person who prefers to have a bit of spice in his life, I get incredibly angry when my morning routine is broken. For example, when I hit "off" instead of "snooze" and go right back to sleep. Then I wake up with that "oh shit, I'm late!" feeling, and don't have time to shower or pee or something like that. Those are the worst days.

What I also don't enjoy is when something small happens that doesn't throw off your routine, but plays in the back of your mind like a rock in the bottom of your shoe. You know it's there, but you just can't be bothered to remove it. So I woke this morning, following my usual routine. When I got to the point where I pee, I turned around, and let it flow. I would say my usual morning pee-time is anything from 15 to 25 seconds. Today was just one of those rock days. 15 seconds came, and went, and I was still going. Then 20. Then 25. Then 30, Then 40. At about 45, pressure started to balance out, and I had to start forcing. I wasn't done. Granted, with the lack of water pressure and the obvious over-expansion and probable stretching of my bladder, I really had to work it. I started and stopped for a good 30 seconds longer until I realized nothing else was coming out. I still wasn't done. I got into the shower, continued my routine, and after I got dressed, I realized my bladder had retracted to its normal size and I needed to pee again. So, back to the bathroom I went, and let the rest out.

I'm still angry about it. Any other point in the day and I'm fine with change. In fact, I welcome it. But stay away from my mornings... unless you are a beautiful woman offering sex. Then I may be willing to make an exception. Only maybe.