Dreaming of Sleeping

Complaint: Dreams must exist for the soul purpose of destroying your moral
Further Complain: Dreams have absolutely no scientific point (that we know of).

Those two complaints are important for today's post. For the past few months, I have not slept through the night. Freud would say it's because I'm acting out all of my wants, hopes, and desires. Apparently Freud hasn't been in many people's heads while they were sleeping. Perhaps he was lucky enough to only dream about what he wanted and desired, I however am tortured by things I simply want to forget.

Here's my normal night, in a nutshell. Go to bed anytime from 21:00-23:00. Read for an hour, maybe two if I went to bed at 21:00. Then, I go to sleep. Don't be fooled, it's fake sleep. I am out for maybe 15 minutes before the first dream hits. Then, I sweat, I roll, I toss, I turn, and even once I cried (which is strange cause no matter what happens to me in the day, I simply can't seem to shed a single tear anymore). Then, I wake up. Usually angry at both the dream and the fact I only got 15 minutes of sleep.

The dreams are weird. I suppose in some way, they are my desires. Twisted, but possible. If it's true, my desires are the very things that are causing me unbearable pain. But hey, the human mind has done stranger things. Lets roll with it.

I usually stay awake for about 10-20 minutes trying to shake the dream from my mind. It never works. Then, I go back to sleep. 15 minutes later, it happens again. I repeat the cycle.

Anyone else have this problem? I'm starting to feel like I'm going crazy, and for someone who considers himself rather sane, it's sorta bothering me. I used to love sleep. It was my favourite part of the day. Not anymore. Sleep means dreams, and dreams mean depression. I work all day to shake those feelings, and BANG, in one dream they are back in my head.

I hate dreams.