Mummificiation

As you all know, I'm a big fan of the whole immortality thing. Living forever is a big deal- so big, in fact, that people have been trying to find ways to do it since before time was time. Why else do you think we invented religion? But that's not what I'm here to talk about. No, I've decided that when I die (because it's inevitable... at least in my generation), I am going to be mummified.

I've put a lot of thought into this, and no, I cannot be dissuaded. Think about about it. How many funerals have you been to in which you saw a man being encased in bandages, then placed inside a golden sarcophagus? Yea, that's what I thought, not a single one. Well, mine will be your first! And yes, you are invited. In fact, everyone is invited.

See, I figure that if I can't live forever through never dying, I might as well die in a way that will make me remembered forever. In 10,000 years, someone will dig me up and go "Holy shit, we found a mummy!" and sure enough, I'll go to a museum where I'll be on display and everyone will be marveling at how amazing I am.

So, really, there's no losing in this situation. I get a fantastic funeral, I get to be encased in gold, I get to be discovered, and everyone has to look at my ugly semi-decayed body for all of eternity. I'm pumped.