Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Shenzen Miracle... or Not

I find it amusing how every time I start to believe that the human race isn't as stupid as it looks, someone goes ahead and does something that just slaps the dream right back into my face. It's as if people are trying to uproot my inner desire that we aren't all idiots. Apparently, my hope is wrong. This one, however, is far more enjoyable than most. This woman who I am about to describe could quite easily have set the bar for "new level of stupid". Shame she didn't lose her ability to pass on her genetic material, or else she could be up for a Darwin award.

I was reading the news today, catching up on worldly events, and I stumbled across a wonderful article about a woman in China who is currently going to court because of a failed operation to make her beautiful. The article its self worded it flawlessly. Sadly, I do not have the material within my reach, so allow me to summarize for you:

A woman who lived happily on mainland China went to Shenzen (NOTE: Remember this name) where she ran into a salesman who offered her an injection of "beauty gel". He promised her that this miracle gel, which was to be injected straight into her face, was guaranteed to shave 20 years off her appearance. It really was beauty cream to the finest! The woman accepted, took the shot, and later ran into a world of problems (surprise surprise!). Her hand stopped working. Then, shortly after that, a giant cancerous growth began forming in her cheek. If that wasn't enough, her whole body began to suffer with endless aches and pains to the point where she could hardly move. These symptoms continue on, even today, several years after her miracle gel backfired and bit her in the ass.

There are just so many things here I want to attack I simply don't know where to begin. I suppose I'll start with the most obvious. Shenzen. Anyone who lives in Hong Kong or China knows the following. Shenzen is a place for anything illegal. I have been there, several times, and I know not to trust anyone. See, Shenzen is basically a mall. That's really all it is. One giant mall where you can get anything that you shouldn't be able to get. They sell illegally burned DVD's and CD's, pretty much every single designer knockoff you could possibly want, countless numbers of electrical appliances that "fell off the back of the truck", and apparently, miracle healing gels. To sum it up, never trust anyone about anything in Shenzen. Stupid woman mistake number 1.

Stupid woman mistake number 2. Miracle aging gel? What the hell?! Who is that stupid? The guy who administered it didn't even have a sales license, yet alone a medical one! And besides, who is stupid enough to believe in a miracle anti-aging gel. Surely something like that would be massively publicized and the guy would be a multi-billionaire, not a bum selling shit out of a shack in Shenzen! Come on, there's a little something called common sense; maybe you've heard of it? Apparently not.

I'm sorry, but I don't think she deserves to win this court case. It's her own damn fault for being that stupid. The guy who tricked her: good work mate. It must be hell-a hard to find someone that incredibly stupid who would actually fall for your obviously bull shit promise of anti-aging gel. I hope the courts rule in your favour. Of course, this is China. Chances are you'll be shot, and your family will have to pay for the bullet. Tough break...

1 comment:

Mike Schwirian said...

I about died laughing at "Of course, this is China. Chances are you'll be shot, and your family will have to pay for the bullet. Tough break..." - Bravo!