Friday, August 3, 2007

Who Funds This Crap?

A post or two ago I promised you that I would flip through the wonderful world of the news and find something spectacular to write about. I didn't find anything spectacular. Instead, I found something shameful, embarrassing, and quite simply made me a little sad that I am a human being. I found an article written about a university that actually funded a very in depth study on the effects of a full moon on workplace employee's.

Yes, someone paid for this. Some idiot sitting in a big chair in his office, sipping on his whiskey while smoking a cigar that costs more than my car said to someone somewhere "we should invest money into this study about the full-moon and how it makes people crazy". And then that person said "That's a great idea, boss!" because they were so busy kissing ass they didn't want to inform their cigar smoking idiot that he was about to ruin all of his credibility in a single decision.

And so it happened. The university funded an experiment to see how many accidents people had in a year during a full moon, then how many people had not during a full moon. For some reason, the university felt it was a good use of money to figure out if all those old wives telling tales knew what they were talking about. Apparently, they didn't. You will be ever so surprised to find out that after two years of experiments, two years of observations, and two years of burning money, it was concluded that the moon has absolutely no effect on accidents in the workplace.

Wow. Who knew? More importantly, who cares?

1 comment:

Mike Schwirian said...

It wasn't long ago that one of my coworkers was seriously injured on the job. He was up a ladder lifting some heavy merchandise when another employee mooned him from across the way. This caused him to laugh so hard that he fell off the ladder and a 42" plasma screen fell squarely on his man parts. We all got a good laugh (except Johnny no balls). The moral of the story is that a full moon can be a dangerous thing.