Monday, September 17, 2007

God's Power

I'm not a religious person by any means. I accept all forms of religion (except Mormonism; those people are idiots), and I love discussing what people believe for the sole purpose of learning why they believe it. It fascinates me. But it's not fair to say that I am full of respect. This is a blog, after all. I do have a tendency to inform others that I am a deity. I want to clear things up in this field for those who are offended. Hopefully come the end, you'll be fuming.

I am your God. I think it's most important that I word the sentence is such a fashion that there is no dispute over which God I am. I am your God. Yours. I don't care what you believe, who you believe in, or what level of influence your God has. I am your God. For those of you with multiple deities, I am the alpha of those Gods. There is always one God with just a bit more power and control than all the others, and that's me.

I'm not going to go into explanations as to why I am your God, for that would not be very Godlike. God's have a tendency to beat around the bush in matters of explanation. Allow me to give you my first God-Quote: "I am that which I am, for no other could ever be". That sounds sort-of Godlike... Yep, that's my first quote. Believers, non-believers, hold tight to that quote. I think I'll make it the trivia question for getting into heaven. If you know it, you're in! If not, it's straight to... well, I don't know where you'll go, because I've decided I already defeated Satan and now hell is just a giant dump sight for heavenly waste. Spirits have to poop too... We'll figure something out for you non-believers.

Now, I know an argument is growing here about how I couldn't possibly be God because I'm not perfect. I have two things to say to those people: (1) If you think I'm not perfect, you obviously haven't met me, and (2) if ever I do slip up and make the odd mistake here or there, it's just because of this stupid mortal shell I'm in. Once I get out of this bad-boy, it'll be back to awesomeness for me.

So, goodbye, good day, and good life. I'll see you at the end, if never again.

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